Could you correct my grammar? 🟠I'll have to make sure I check how many people applied for the event on a tablet. It is for the first time in one week. 🟣You should not buy the laptop here because it's similar to what I saw online. You can buy it cheaper. 🟢 (2024)

• English (US)

"It is for the first time" sounds a bit awkward.
I would say "This is the first event we've had in a week", or "It has been a week" (since I last checked, since the last event, etc.)
I'm not sure what exactly you are saying is 一週間ぶり、but I think you can choose the appropriate expression from my suggestions above.

on the bathroom　✖　（people will understand you, but this sounds unnatural）
right over the bathroom / right *on top of* the bathroom 〇

your destiny would change　→　your destiny will change
（仮に何かをしたら「現実と違って」運命が変わるという話ではなく、その人がとる行動によって実際に変わるわけなので）

"You have many bags" is okay, but it sounds written. We wouldn't say this in a conversation.
In a daily conversation, we would say "You have a lot of bags".

I wonder when my body recovers　→　I wonder when my body will recover
（recovers だと、この文脈では「いつも習慣的にいつ回復するものか」の話になります。というのも、whenがここでは接続詞ではなく疑問代名詞だからです。）

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• English (US)

"It is for the first time" sounds a bit awkward.
I would say "This is the first event we've had in a week", or "It has been a week" (since I last checked, since the last event, etc.)
I'm not sure what exactly you are saying is 一週間ぶり、but I think you can choose the appropriate expression from my suggestions above.

on the bathroom　✖　（people will understand you, but this sounds unnatural）
right over the bathroom / right *on top of* the bathroom 〇

your destiny would change　→　your destiny will change
（仮に何かをしたら「現実と違って」運命が変わるという話ではなく、その人がとる行動によって実際に変わるわけなので）

"You have many bags" is okay, but it sounds written. We wouldn't say this in a conversation.
In a daily conversation, we would say "You have a lot of bags".

I wonder when my body recovers　→　I wonder when my body will recover
（recovers だと、この文脈では「いつも習慣的にいつ回復するものか」の話になります。というのも、whenがここでは接続詞ではなく疑問代名詞だからです。）

• Japanese

分かりやすく丁寧に教えてくださりありがとうございます！
It’s very helpful🙇‍♀️