The Glass Marchives @glassmarcus - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook (2024)

Review Directory

2024

Hi-Fi Rush

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

Lies of P

Pizza Tower

Curse Crackers: For Whom the Belle Toils

Super Mario Bros Wonder

2023

Xenoblade Chronicles 3

Pandora's Tower

Jet Set Radio

Megaman Battle Network 1 and 2

Sonic Unleashed [Both versions]

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

Rogue Legacy 2, Hades, and Dead Cells

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Super Bomberman R 2

Super Mario RPG

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Wario Land 3

Sea of Stars

Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury

Picross 3D

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed

2022

Mario's Super Picross

Pokémon Legends Arceus

Elden Ring

Kirby and the Forgotten Land

Chrono Cross

Tunic

Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil

Vampire Survivors

Bayonetta 3

Sonic Frontiers

Neon White

Pokémon Violet

Sonic Spinball

Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels

Nights into Dreams

Donkey Kong Country 2

Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core Reunion

Super Kiwi 64

Klonoa Handheld Games

Super Mario Bros 6

Naked and absolute disclosure here, Super Mario Bros 3 is my favorite side scrolling platformer and will always be my favorite side scrolling platformer. It is a load bearing game that my taste are built on top of. It's the first platformer that truly clicked with me. It is the gold standard for which I compare all games within the genre to. The jump arc, the momentum, the stage length, the density, the secrets, the art, the music. If a platformer doesn't land in the same ball park of quality in these areas, I'm going to want to play Super Mario Bros 3 again instead. Especially if it’s another Mario game. And it's not like I think it's a perfect game. OK, I actually do think that, but I understand that human beings are flawed and may not be able to comprehend its brilliance like I am able to. I know that there are theoretically things that it has been surpassed in, but in practice it has never felt that way. I’ve been playing 2D Mario games my whole life and never have I had the thought "Oh yea, this is better than Mario 3".

Super Mario World is not better than Mario 3. The movement is a bit too loose, the way power ups work is ass backwards, some of the more dull levels go on a bit too long, the spin jump being a separate button is an abject affront to nature, level motifs are sparse, and the game is kinda ugly looking. The game introduced a bunch of stuff I appreciate. The interconnected world map is brilliant and really pushes the exploration elements of the series with its use of secret exits. And it may seem like a small thing, but I adore being able to throw objects upwards. At the end of the day though, I'd rather just play Mario 3.

Super Mario Land 2 is not better than Mario 3. Again, the movement is too loose for me, Mario’s Sprite takes up a 5th of the screen real estate, and like all Game Boy Mario games, the OST pile drives its leitmotif into a cemetery of dead horses. Please Game Boy Mario games, I’m begging for you to have more than one song. It's a good song, but I'd rather there be 5 new songs than variants of the same thing Ad infinitum. The Non-linearity and the creative stage motifs are unparalleled among 2D Mario, but I'd still rather play Mario 3.

The New Super Mario Bros games are not better than Mario 3. Yes all of them. And it really just comes down to how bland those games are. They all have the same general look and vibe which I find to be the least interesting these games get aesthetically. I even prefer World visually over these games just because it's not milquetoast. The level design is solid in basically all of these games but they don't introduce much new ironically. I like the move set additions like the ground pound, wall jump, and mid air spin, but there's a reason I lump them all together. They could have called it Super Mario Bros 5 Episode 1-4 and the titles would make way more sense. Nothing stands out, so I'd rather just play Mario 3.

So recently I played Super Mario Bros Wonder. On a surface level, nothing seems amiss when playing this one. The visuals are different for the first time in 20 years. Every action has soulful flourish and the animations have weight and personality to them. There is a distinct color palette associated with this game and every level is brimming with visual ambition. Most importantly, you can play as Daisy which strongly distinguishes it from every existing Mario game. The game also controls exactly how a modern Mario game should. You have the same kit you had in New Super Mario Bros Wii, but you have the ability to move at a fast pace with minimal actions that decimate your momentum. Not once have I shamefully blamed the physics of this game for my shortcomings. It's that tight and fine tuned.

On a deeper level though, Wonder has a lot going on under the hood that solidifies it as one of the more impressive Mario titles. The level design is probably what stands out the most about Mario Wonder to me. Each stage is solidly design and slowly introduces its concepts and builds upon them throughout in fair and reasonable ways. This is what's expected of Mario games. Every Mario games since the first New Super Mario Bros has been like this. There's not much to take issue with, but also not much to sink your teeth into. That's to be expected when your levels are designed so carefully that they end up always playing it safe. I think what's been missing from Mario games for a while is flavor. Mario games are always nutritious, but they have no spice. I play them, and then shortly forget about them and don't desire to return, they are simply sustenance. I played New Super Mario Bros 2, liked it enough, and immediately wiped my brain of all data related to it. And I get why these games are made this way. I'm never frustrated by anything or dreading a specific part of these games, while there are some stages in others that I ignore if possible. But I still enjoy the more volatile titles because they take those wide swings and have more personality. I need my Mario games to have an unhinged idea every now and again.

From the soil that is the sturdy foundation of 2D Mario, sprouts the Wonder Flower, and with it, a garden of brilliant and deranged concepts for levels. Mario Wonder isn't about just completing levels, it's about collecting Wonder Seeds. It's more a kin to 3D Mario games where collectibles are used to unlock levels. Wonder Seeds are Power Stars, Shine Sprites, Moons, Cat shines etc. You find these seeds by completing objectives. This means not just beating the level or finding the secret exit, but also completing the Wonder Flower variation of the level. The Wonder Flower is a usually hidden object that distorts the current stage into a Salvador Dali Dreamscape. When this flower is in play, the framework the game is built within becomes far more malleable. The geography around you shifts and comes to life. The character you play as completely warps in how they function. Even the camera angle of this 2D sidescroller isn't safe from this floral menace. The Wonder Flower is a game changer and makes every level more interesting. And the fact that it's optional really leans into the replayability of the game. The Wonder Flower sort of turns the level into a B-side alternate version. Sometimes the Wonder Flower mechanic can be annoying or maybe get in the way of exploring a certain aspect of the level. So there are times where you won't want to activate it. I appreciate branching level structure being handled in this way. It feels more natural to come back to a level to see the Wonder version or Standard Version rather than just have hidden extra level planted inside.

Wonder is a game that gives you options in how you approach clearing a level and it extends beyond the decision to use the Wonder Flower or not. Far more options are available for how you move your character rather than how the level shifts. Throughout the game you will unlock and purchase badges that you can select before each level. This acts as a sort of load out you use per stage, similar to how you'd select a power from your inventory on Mario 3. Each badge modifies your movement in ways that can drastically change how you approach level design. There are badges that increase your speed that will aid you in clearing levels faster. Glides and double jumps to help in platforming. There are badges that are only really useful in certain situations like the one that gives you the ability to dash underwater. There are badges that aren't functionally super useful but are just fun to use like the grappling hook one. Baby badges that act as an easy mode; Unhinged badges that act as a hard mode. Badges spice up gameplay in a way that is unprecedented, and it's strange how it's unprecedented because this is not a complex or high concept idea. In fact I wish they went further with it. There are some difficult levels in the back half of the game that require expert badge use, but I would have liked to see more levels that were hard, but didn't require badge use. This makes the choice you have in badge selection feel like it matters more because your choice likely led to your victory rather than what it was in my play through: rigid challenge with no room for freedom, or easy levels where the badges were just a bonus.

Despite the level design being solid, it might be the one major mark I have against the game. They feel so meticulously designed that there's not a lot of freedom in what you do despite there being freedom in how you do it. Previously titles were linear for sure and had their fair share of secrets along the way, but those secrets were better spread out due there being more height. Linear only indicates the direction the level takes. It's doesn't have to be shaped like a thin line. Mario 3 and Mario World had more rectangular levels where you could explore high up areas at your leisure. Not just when the level allows it. This is because both of these games gave you ways to fly in some capacity. Mario 3 had the Raccoon power up while Mario World had the Super Cape. There's no power up like that in Wonder that needs accounting for its vertical mobility.

Don't get it twisted. All of these new power ups are winners. The elephant power is visually the most fun power up in the series and its utility leads to some fun puzzles. The bubble power up is offensively devastating and I can imagine bubble jumping being some high level skill within speed runs. The drill is the power up that takes full advantage of the more cramped level design and because if it, this game has hands down the best cave stages in the series. These are all welcome additions, but they don't replace the vertical exploration I found myself missing after I finished my playthrough.

I feel like if that vertical element was in place, this would likely be an all time favorite platformer for me. But it's missing that and a bit more. I feel like despite this being the most different Mario in years, there are some instances where it could have gone the extra mile. It's cool how secret exits and a roamable world are in play, but most of the exits don't lead to sequence breaking short cuts and the extra world being a measly 10 levels is super deflating. Another world of levels between piss easy and ball crushing difficulty would be more than welcome. But we never get that. The Wonder Flower modifications make levels more interesting, but the same motifs as always are being used here. The story being included is a nice change of pace, but it would be a nicer change if it was good. Wonder does a lot of things to impress, but doesn't really feel like its the best Mario game in any category. Except the final boss fight which elevates the franchise in that regard.

So in conclusion, it's pretty good. One of the best 2D Mario games overall. I'd rather play Mario 3 though.

The Lingering Will of Wario Land

Wario has always been the most unhinged of Nintendo's characters. While Mario is sane and safe and usually pushes the envelope in practical ways, Wario is sporadic and insensitive and breaks the mold by taking as many left turns as possible. Wario used to be a testing ground for Nintendo R&D1's weirdest ideas. And to this day, he still kind of is. Though that studio doesn't really exist anymore, Nintendo is still making Wario Ware games and the will of that studio carries on. As far as I can tell, Intelligent Systems is carrying on the torch quite well. But while Wario Ware acts as sort of a repository of varied minigames, it's not reminiscent of the larger scale ideas the studio used to execute on. And before Wario Ware, most of that was done within the Wario Land series. The series that I'm actually a fan of. And I've always wondered what kind of games we'd have if the will of that series was passed down. Over the year I've come to realize that it basically has.

The thing about the Wario Land games is that, while they are all at their core side scrolling platformers, they all have gimmicks and structures that dramatically differentiate them. Most games after the first feel like a full metamorphosis rather than a traditional sequel. Wario Land evolves in a collection of branching paths, and I'm interested to see where those paths end. I won't fully know because I can't possibly play every game that has Wario games as an influence, but I can definitely make a few decent observations and unabashedly glaze Pizza Tower before the end of this write up.

The first Wario Land was made as a sequel to Super Mario Land 2, thus is the installment with the most similarity to Mario. Wario functions the same as Mario in that you get a variety of power ups that vanish upon taking a hit. It has linear levels that are full of secrets. It has a cute world map to select a level. It's all very reminiscent of its predecessor, but stands apart in one aspect. The move set. All Mario can really do is run and jump at the end of the day. Sure he can get power ups that give him more options, but you can only rely on jumping when the chips are down. Wario has a bit more leeway. Even at his smallest form, Wario can tip over enemies, throw them as well. Mario can technically do this too, but it's more situational as only certain enemies can be chucked, such as koopas. Wario Land is designed around being able to do these things whenever you want and it led to a bit more puzzles oreinted. You weren't just killing enemies, you were bullying them. Using them to fulfill your goals by displacing them where they best suited you. It's a move set that fit Wario’s personality. And when you get the super onion and become Super Wario, that bully energy multiplies tenfold. The shoulder bash is THE Wario move. Haphazardly thrusting the side of your body into someone way weaker than you is something you would never see Mario do. But when I think of Wario, I think of the shoulder bash. It's his signature move, his Kamehameha. Wario honestly feels weird without one, which is why being tiny Wario kinda blows. Its a part of Wario I never want to see removed.

The next Wario Land released after the first was Virtual Boy Wario Land. It is, by all means, a natural sequel to the first. The game play is fine tuned a bit to make Wario faster and snappier, but for the most part is the same. The power ups are the same, the move set is the same, the treasure hunting aspect is the same. The main difference is the level design. Virtual Boy Wario Land takes advantage of the stronger hardware of the Virtual Boy console and uses it to make layered level design. In both boss fights and stages you are swapping between the fore ground and background of the stage, which is only possible due to the depth added by virtual boy. While Virtual Boy Wario Land had less levels than the first, it also had far more inventive levels. You don't really see level design like that in future games. Virtual Wario Land’s influence is felt more outside the franchise. The DNA of it can be found in most 2.5D platformers and every 2D platformer with layered level design. Shantae, Klonoa, Mutant Mudds, Donkey Kong, Kirby, andMario all end up using design techniques created by this obscure follow up. Despite being a by the books sequel in a lot of ways, it was still a very impactful game.

What was not by the numbers was Wario Land 2. That game was a true evolution. The things that separate Wario from Mario in the first game were the actions Wario could do. Virtual Boy Wario Land focused on level design, but that was a very Mario approach in all honestly. Wario is not about improving his environment, he's about improving himself. And this isn't to say the level design isn't an improvement, it just shapes itself around all the new things you can do. Wario Land 2 does a few things to dramatically enhance the power fantasy of playing as Wario. The first is an expansion of actions Wario can do. This guy can ground pound and shoulder bash in his base form. He can execute a rolling attack from a slope, he can aim his throws. Wario has a ton of verbs at his disposal this time around and the levels make sure to take advantage of them. Wario now feels stronger because he can do more things with zero cost. He also feels stronger because he’s an immortal demigod-like being.

The worst moments in Wario Land and Virtual Boy Wario Land is where you aren't Super Wario and feel virtually powerless. In Wario Land 2, you are always super and thus never die. You lose coins when you get hit. This shifts the focus away from completing a level without dying and instead completing a level with as much money as possible. The stages being designed with Wario’s immortality in mind allows for more treacherous and ambitious level ideas due the penalty of failure being so low. The most inventive way they handle Wario’s insane durability is turning would be obstacles into temporary transformations. Things that would have killed you in past games now only mold you into something different. Getting bit by a bat turns you into a vampire, getting flattened allows you to slip under crevices. Most of the puzzles in these games had Wario use enemies as projectiles to achieve some kind of solution. Now Wario is using enemies to intentionally get tagged by them for the same purpose. It's a far more unique approach to power ups, while also making Wario simultaneously more pathetic and more frightening.

Wario Land 2 is a complete shift from its predecessors, and while a lot of its ideas are used in future games, nothing in the franchise matches it in terms of encouraging collection above all else. Not a lot of games in this genre are willing to not kill you as a penalty to f*cking up. One of the few that is is Kirby’s Epic Yarn, which I feel is the game most similar to Wario Land 2 in spirit. Getting loot IS the difficulty in that game. Stages are stuffed with secrets. You can't die, but you lose money on hit. Every other level is filled with a variety of transformations which contort your body in a visually interesting way. It feels like a lot of inspiration was taken from Wario Land 2.

Wario Land 3 takes the gameplay of Wario Land 2 and reframes it in its own unique way. You have the same move set, but most of these abilities you have to unlock, and then you use these abilities to open new routes in past levels. Structurally it's closer to a Search Action games than a standard platformer. Levels act as sections of a world that you explore and the world map is how you travel between them. Treasures you find in each level can either give you an ability to access new areas of a level, change the physiology of a level so that new secrets are revealed, or unlock new levels entirely. Every objective you complete builds towards revealing more of the game in an outward direction. The amount of backtracking you do in this game exceeds basically every Metroidvania I've played. To the point in which I think it ruins the game and makes it bad.

I'm glad they didn't make another Wario Land game like this. Not because its ideas can't be implemented well. We see this level based search action approach in other games such as Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia and Shantae: The Pirates Curse, but they execute it in a way that doesn't put a damper on exploration. They limit the number of areas and make back tracking for areas only required once or twice at most. The needless complexity is dialed down, so that retracing your steps doesn't lose its flavor. It can be done well, I simply like Wario Land 4 and wouldn't sacrifice it for a good version of Wario Land 3 under any circ*mstance.

Wario Land 4 is the pinnacle of the franchise. Virtual Boy Wario Land added tighter more creative level design. Wario Land 2 added more movement. Wario Land 3 added ways to experience levels multiple times in different ways. 4 takes all of these concepts to the next level. It has fewer levels than the past two games, but these levels are the most visually distinct and mechanically diverse ones so far. While there’s no central gimmick being utilized like in Virtual Boy Wario Land, each level has its own central gimmick that the level is built around rather than serving only as a motif. In addition to the levels being better than ever, the bosses are good for the first time in the series. They were fine in Wario Land 1 and Virtual Boy Wario Land, but weren't amazing. The quality of boss fights is tarnished in Wario land 2 and 3 because you don’t take damage in those games. You basically have to do every fight perfectly or restart the whole encounter as that's only penalty that can be enforced. Wario Land 4 has removed his invincibility. He instead now has a large health bar. You will basically never die in a level because of how many hits you can take and how easy it is to heal so you still feel invincible. However, you are still in danger during boss fights. Because you can take hits, you aren't required to do the fight perfectly. Instead now the boss fights are more complex and you are encouraged to do them perfectly as the faster you complete them, the more rewards you get.

Movement has always been a focus in the Wario Land series. 3 didn't add much in that department but 4 picks up the slack by adding a single move. Wario Land got pretty far move wise using only 2 buttons and a d-pad. Now with shoulder buttons in tow, Wario has learned a game changing ability. Running. The charging run is a brilliant addition to Wario’s move set. It's not only a method to go faster, it's a state which you need to maintain. Most levels are designed to be potentially charged through while stopping very little. You can become a blitzing mad man that tramples all in your path, so long as you don't run into any walls and obvious obstacles.

The charge isn't just a faster way to move around or a fun way to implement more puzzles. It's integral to the game’s defining feature. Wario Land 3 wants the player to re-experience a level by playing it again with different parts unlocked. Wario Land 4 takes a different approach by locking the player in the level and moving the exit to the entrance. You have to play every level backwards and you have to do it under a timer. Each level ends in an exhilarating Metroid escape sequence where you use your knowledge of the level coming in to aid you in getting out. And using the run really helps get you back to the entrance in time. Wario Land 4 is the best of the franchise because it excels at everything the franchise has become known for while simultaneously being so different from the others.

There is one more Wario Game made after 4 though. Wario Land Shake It, interestingly enough developed by Good Feel, the creators behind Kirby epic yarn. Shake It is a fine game, but doesn't take anything 4 does in a good direction. 4 had this nice flow to it when you knew what you were doing, but Shake It has its pace bogged down by bad motion controls that require you to tilt your controller slowly or shake objects for too long a time. The run is also removed as a normal action because the number of buttons is back to the old days. Instead there are dash pads which you are given a designated dash upon using. This isn't too big of a deal as there are some good puzzle created from this approach, though I still prefer it being a normal action. The main move set drop that bothers me is the lack of transformations you get as a result of an enemy or obstacle. It has been a mainstay since 2 and now there are only 3 of them and they all function pretty similarly. Shake It has pretty good level design and is the best looking Wii game, no joke. But it's a huge step back from 4 in a lot of ways and I can't call it a proper successor. It wasn't what I wanted out of a Wario Land 5. It didn't add enough and left behind too much. And since playing it, I’ve always wanted a game that expands on Wario Land 4 to a degree that could consider it Wario Land 5.

Enter Pizza Tower. The fully evolved form of Wario Land 4 and maybe Wario Land in general. It's an indie game that understands the franchise it's inspired by, knows exactly what makes the game it takes the most from special, and knows exactly what elements to add to bring out the best in itself. I touched upon earlier about the things that make Wario Wario. I believe these things are Movement, Character, and Exploration, all three which Pizza Tower excels at. It's not Wario, it has a different flavor for sure, but the soul of Wario Land resides within it.

Peppino, the main character of Pizza Tower, can do nearly everything Wario can do. He can ram into enemies, he can hurdle forward at the speed of a car. He a can chuck anything he can carry to the other side of the screen. He can roll down slopes like Sonic the Hedgehog. He can slam his ass through concrete. He's also functionally invincible, so obstacles and enemies can grant him transformations the same way. The only thing he can't really do is charge his throw in a diagonal direction. It's a shame, but that's too slow of an action got Pizza Tower.

Every thing you see in Wario Land you will see in Pizza Tower, but reflavoured to be goofier and more frantic. It takes the emphasis on speed from Wario Land 4 and takes it to its logical conclusion. The format is basically the same, but the rush to the exit of the level is far more exhilarating due to the deluxe suite of moves Peppino has at his disposal. Pizza Tower is meant to be played fast and thus takes inspiration from games also meant to be played fast. Mainly Sonic and Metroid. The speed at which you move with and the momentum you carry between actions is every bit as speedy and gratifying as a Sonic game. There are even different states of velocity like there are in Sonic Advance 2. The dash button works sort of like the one in Sonic Lost World. It changes your state of movement so that you not only move faster, but interact with your environment differently. A crouching attack while dashing is different from when not. You can even climb walls much like how parkour works in that game. It proves that Lost World isn't fundamentally bad, it is just made incorrectly. Once you get the hang of switching between running and sprinting the flow of the game really opens up.

The maintaining of speed feels very Sonic like, but the control of it feels very Metroid. Once moving at top speed you can store your speed and release it upwards, much like using speed boosters and shine sparks. You can also redirect your velocity by making sharp turns on surfaces similar to how you’d be expected to control your shine spark through winding paths. The breakable walls you'd find in Wario are used to obscure routes that would house a faster and more point filled path back to the entrance. This perfectly emulates the feeling of scrambling back to your ship at the end of the game, but not taking the most efficient path. It's not that these elements weren't somewhat present in Wario Land 4, but they are far more pronounced in Pizza Tower.

There are also plenty of verbs that are entirely unique to him such as Multi Directional Air Dash, Pile Drive and the most important out of any of them Taunt Parry. The parry isn't required for completion of the game. You probably don't even need it to get a high score. But the action itself is integral to the flow of the game. You move at break neck speeds here. Sometimes you will be barreling towards something you cannot get out of the way of and it will kill your pace when you face plant into it. Unless you parry. Then you can keep going. The parry acts as an emergency bitch don't kill my vibe button. It doesn't grind the flow of the game to a screeching halt, it keeps you going. It's similar to the parry in Metroid Dread, but I'm not confident that is an inspiration.

I haven't even touched all the actions Peppino can do. Some of them don't even register as individual moves because they feel so natural. Many actions in Pizza Tower are context sensitive. But they aren't the annoying type of context sensitive where things get in the way of each other. There were times in Pizza Tower where I wasn't really thinking, just letting the game guide me, and I was shocked at how many actions I was doing despite not quite understanding how I was consistently doing them. Everything makes sense. We've come such a long way from Wario picking up an enemy he bumped into it while in a vulnerable state. Pizza Tower is hands down one of the best feeling games I've played and that is far from its only strength.

Wario Land games have a unique charm that's not emulated by Pizza Tower. They aren't merely vehicles for fun gameplay ideas, they are playgrounds exercising whatever sense of humor the developers have. Earthworm Jim and Rayman fall under this category. They aren't just about making sure you have fun playing, but also laugh while doing so. They achieve this by having a larger than life main character traverse a surreal world. Wario was this weird greedy goblin man who had impossible physiology which allowed him to be an excellent target of slapstick. He was gross. But he had this confidence to him that made him easy to root for. He did what he wanted because he wanted to and nothing else. He's as aspirational as he is despicable.

Peppino is not Wario. Peppino is almost the opposite of Wario. Which you would think makes him Mario, but you'd be wrong. Peppino is not someone you wish you were on some level. Because he already is you. He is concentrated anxiety molded into a humanoid shape. He is a man at the end of his f*cking rope. He does not want to be here, but he has to be here to protect what is his. Wario was a power fantasy, but Peppino is an abstraction of reality. He's the lower class citizen who constantly gets dunked on by society, but always gets back up. That's where his invincibility comes from. Not unshakable confidence, but the primal drive to survive.

Peppino is a character I love seeing on screen at all times and him interacting with the ridiculous setting of Pizza Tower. Every level in Pizza Tower is based off some corny themed pizza restaurant which makes each level not only have unique mechanics for those levels, but a motif that is pushed to its comedic potential. The commitment to the bit is where Pizza Tower excels. An urban themed pizza restaurant where you travel between levels in taxis and the cops are literally pigs is some inspired sh*t I'd be proud to think of. Keep in mind, this a normal, run of the mill idea this game has. Pizza Tower exist within an infinite void of transcendental japes. I notice something silly about it every time I replay a level.

What elevates the charm of Pizza Tower is the art style and animation. The spirit of every Newgrounds animation made in 2007 dwells within this game. It's purposefully amateurish and skillfully expressive. Every sprite looks like it was made in MS paint using a track pad and they probably are. The simplicity of the images allows for more aggressive drafting, bolder colors, and a higher quantity and quality of animation, because being on model and having detailed images is never a priority. The visual volume of Pizza Tower is off the charts. Peppino himself has enough animations with manic energy expanding in all direction that he alone could carry the whole game. But every character and environment is handled with care.

The level design is one of Pizza Tower’s strongest aspects. It exemplifies Wario level design by having a high saturation of secrets with collectibles both major and minor. Like in Wario Land 4, Looting is required, but you don't need 100% of it to progress. It's much more like a 3D Mario game where you need a set amount of collectibles total to pass gates in the game. This pushes exploration without aggressively forcing it. But just because it's not extremely required, doesn't mean intimacy with the levels isn't an important aspect of the game. In fact I’d say it's more important than in any game it's inspired by.

I would describe the levels in Wario Land 4 as ones that follow the classic 3 act structure that most things can be divided into. The first act is the beginning of the level where you are introduced to the mechanics. The second act is where the twist on the mechanics occur. And the third is where you speed back to the entrance and experience the first two acts in reverse. Pizza Tower follows suit, and the split between acts is even more pronounced with the change in music. But Pizza Tower takes it further with a bonus act. A hidden act 4 where you play through act 3 again, but on a tighter time frame. In order to succeed in this act 4, you have to explore the level before hand and know all the best routes to get to the entrance as soon as possible.

Each Wario Game always adds something new to the table to shake up the formula which is what I felt was lacking from Wario Land Shake it ironically. I'm not gonna outright call Pizza Tower Wario Land 5, but it does add something to the Wario paradigm that was never prioritized, but feels natural. It adds a mastery incentive. Pizza Tower wants you to be good at this game. That's why these second laps were implemented. What better way to show you know a level like the back of your hand than playing it again in less than half the expected time?

Scoring points in this game is determined mainly by two things, your combo and the things you collect. Your combo is the streak of enemies you've defeated in quick succession. It's actually pretty lenient in how long you can go without your combo resetting. And because of this leniency, the game can impose unrealistic task for you to complete in order to get the highest rank such as Combo the entire Level. It’s tough, but surprisingly doable. That's not enough though, as you are expected to collect ingredients throughout the stage and complete hidden bonus challenges in order to meet your score quota. In Wario Games, it was fun to collect things, but it never amounted to much because you could only spend money on mini games. Pizza Tower doesn't pretend to have an economy, so it instead focuses most of the collection criteria into determining your score.

Comboing the level will boost your score, collecting all major collectibles and completing hidden missions will boost your score. But you won't get the highest rank until you go for that second lap and risk it all. It turns out Sonic isn't the only Sega property acting as potential inspiration. This second lap idea is taken straight out of Nights into Dreams. Nights is a game with circular level design that wants the player to gather as many points as possible in as quick of a lap as possible. The best part of the entire game is that feeling you get when you look at the time left, see your current score is enough and decide in the heat of the moment: “ehh I got time, I'll do another one”. It's a philosophy of mastery I haven't seen in any game since, not even the sequel to that game. But Pizza Tower once again delivers. Sure you can only do 2 laps max, but the feeling of getting away with an extra run that seems like you’re not allowed to do is still there. And when it all comes together and you get that coveted P rank, it's unmistakable. This is gaming right here.

The ingredients of this game are all of the highest quality. The design, the personality, the execution is all there. Even the toppings are mind blowing. What really separates Pizza Tower from Wario Land is that all the boss fights are incredible and are just as good as the levels despite the game not being built around them in the same way. Wario boss fights weren't good until 4 and even then they only barely qualified. The bosses in this game are a genuine highlight for me which I'm not used to for platformers in general. They didn't have to go this hard, and on top of every positive thing I listed about Pizza Tower, it is all sprinkled with the best soundtrack of the year. I have been listening to this soundtrack nearly every week since April 2023. It is absolutely godlike. I genuinely put the final boss music on the same level of respect as Dancing Mad from Final Fantasy 4. Every track fills me with energy. Everything in this game revitalizes me. It is the most video game I've played in a while. It might not be huge in terms of portion size, but I'll always comeback for seconds. I can eat it all day, you know...like Pizza.

I'm glad that the legacy of Wario Land 4 has led to a game like this. But I'm even happier that this isn't the end. Its will was carried in multiple areas. I haven’t touched Anton Blast enough to speak in depth on it, but it seems to be evolving Wario Land 4 in an entire different way than Pizza Tower. There seems to be more Wario 4 like games that popping up recently. And I'm thrilled. Over the years I've lamented about dying franchises or franchises that have moved in a direction I'm not fond of. I want these things to exist, but I certainly don't have time or ability to make them myself at this point in my life so I get bummed out. But seeing how there hasn't been a Wario Land game in almost 20 years, but the franchise still basically persist anyway gives me a comforting hope. A hope that the things I love will never truly fade away. That their will, shall forever linger.

Bloodborne from Scratch

*Played in August 2023, Written in December 2023

I refuse to pretend I didn't buy Lies of P because it reminded me of Bloodborne. I'm quite certain most people did. I think the developers knew people would. The severe lack of multi-platform 60 fps Bloodborne is a huge flaw in our reality and many of us have lamented over it for half a decade now. Bloodborne is by many accounts, a masterpiece, but it could still use tweaking. The game writes checks that the system performance can't cash; There's a wild imbalance in differing play styles; Blood vials exist. A re-release where these things are worked out could make it my one of my favorite souls likes. Neowiz knew this and made an original game with all those qualities in Lies of P. It's not a clone of Bloodborne. It’s a worthy spiritual follow up to it and is easily in my top 4 souls likes after only 1 play through. Some may take a brief look at Lies of P and say it's generic brand Bloodborne. It's not. We have Bloodborne at home, but not because we got a cheap version of it, but because we have a home cooked version instead.

This game was made with love and I'd take it over the real thing any day. By my observation, the most praised aspect of Bloodborne is the aesthetic. The worst I've heard about it is that it might not be someone's cup of tea. Roaming the misty harrowing streets of the Victorian nightmare-scape that is the city of Yarnham never fails to make your spine shudder. The imagery of European 19th century fashion and strangely colored moons has become forever linked to this game. In terms of atmosphere, it really can't be topped. Lies of P's Krat has similar vibes to Bloodborne's Yharnam, but it is distinct enough to where I can say it's not competing for the same space. Krat is less boreal and eerie but more uncanny. Krat feels like a creepy carnival turned into a city. It's a town filled with murderous steam punk puppets who are ever so close enough to human beings to shake your nerves to the core. If Bloodborne is a haunted house, Lies of P is a fun house. Mysteriously more and less overtly terrifying. Lies of P matches Bloodborne's best quality while also surpassing the other things it used to excel at. In the gameplay department, Lies of P solves every issue I have with Bloodborne.

Bloodborne is known to be one of the more exhilarating souls games. In Dark Souls, blocking and counter attacking was a completely valid play style and that seemed to be the intended way of engagement. Patience is an invaluable skills and it's handsomely rewarded once mastered. This type of gameplay is still to this day fun to me, but I can see why others pined for something more active. Bloodborne feels like it's for people who think the combat of Dark Souls is too slow and passive. You are not a patient strong willed knight in Bloodborne. You are a crazed hunter who is really into their job. Bloodborne expects you to be as ferocious as the beast you fight. There is no blocking, enemies are harder to react to, your dodge action has a stupid amount of I-frames, every weapon staggers enemies, healing is way quicker than it used to be. Everything is tuned in a way that pushes you to get in the enemy’s face, deal as much damage as you can, get out, and then get back in. The mechanic that adds the most incentive to aggression is the rally system, which allows you to regain recently lost health if you attack someone within a short time frame. This attack counts for enemies who have already died mere seconds ago, so you really feel like a mad man sometimes as you desperately beat a corpse for sustenance. The combat of Bloodborne is thrilling and leads to some incredible combat encounters and boss fights. But moment to moment, I still prefer Dark Souls. Bloodborne puts all its eggs in the aggression basket, but because of that, there is only one way to play the game effectively in my experience.

Lies of P has my favorite combat of any souls game because it doesn't have to pick between rewarding offense or defense. It does both at the same time. Blocking is weaker than in other souls games in that there are no dedicated shields, so blocking 100% of physical damage doesn't exist. Dodging is weaker than in other souls games because some attacks can't be I-framed through and I-frames in general aren't too high. You can't block everything unless you perfect guard every attack. You can't dodge everything unless you are completely out of enemy range. The optimal way to play is to use both instead of choosing one option. The way the game adequately compensates for the perceived nerfs is adding mechanics that reward both defense and offense. Of these mechanics, Regain is the most prominent. It's a version of rally that activates as a result of counter attacking rather than being a crazy person. You can only regain health that was lost while blocking and you regain in proportion to the amount of damage you do. This mechanic is brilliant as it acts as a perfect segue from being defensive to retain as much health as possible, to being offense to get back what you lost. You aren't merely hacking away and dodging, you are making responsible investments that will pay dividends in your future. As you move further in the game you can upgrade your blocking and dodging abilities and build around which methodology you prefer, but it will always be wise to have both in mind rather than obsessing over one.

P benefits a ton by having wider options in combat. It's not just that you deal with enemies in different ways, the weapons you use allow for both pin point effectiveness and expression. Bloodborne had less weapons than a standard dark souls game, but made up for that by have transforming trick weapons. Each trick weapon had two move sets that varied in speed, power and range which you could swap between on the fly. This made the weapons have these makeshift ass designs and gave them all a bunch of personality. This was a good idea for a game that's not Bloodborne. You rarely ever need to switch up your approach in the heat of the moment so transforming never feels important. Light weapons naturally have an advantage over heavy weapons in my experience, so lighter weight options will receive more play than the slower ones unless significant attack range is added as well.

Trick weapons are only somewhat implemented into Lies of P. Only a few boss weapons act as true trick weapons and the ones that are there benefit from how effective heavy weapons are in this game. Lighter weapons allow more attacks per second, but heavy weapons deal a larger blow to the enemy's posture. Posture breaking is much more focused in this game than Bloodborne, so it's a great boon to have something that adds to it. The dichotomy between light and heavy weapons is as equal as ever, but also as blurry as ever. While boss weapons act as trick weapons, normal weapons are every bit as fluid due to fact that you can make them yourself. Each is made from a blade and a handle. The blade determines the base damage and block rate of the weapon. The handle determines the move set and scaling off the weapon. Both determine the weight, range, and overall look. This leads to a vast array of different weapons that can be crafted, each with their own strengths, drawbacks, and goofy designs. I went through most of the game with a giant wrench as a blade and cycled through different handles for the sake of variety. It was always technically a heavy weapons, but it feels closer to a light one depending on which handle I gave it.

The best aspect of this system is that you don't have to completely throw away a weapon in order to try something new. In other games if I get tired of a move set, I grind materials for 2 hours and upgrade a new weapon. In Lies of P, I slap on a new handle to my already upgraded blade. I'm still committing to a style to some extent, but I'm given leeway to branch out and it's completely mind blowing how head and shoulders this system of weapon inventory is above its contemporaries. The variety doesn't even stop with the base properties of each weapon, as every handle and blade has a potential weapon art, thus you are also selecting a combination of special attacks as well.

The weapons are the main characters of this combat, but I'd be remiss to not mention the incredible supporting cast. In Bloodborne your side arms were fun to use as they gave you a plethora of ranged options for damage and a ton of ways to stun enemies. But they only do a single thing. That's not the case with the Legion arms in Lies of P. They all perform an even wider range of task than the side arms in Bloodborne and you can upgrade them to increase their utility even further. The Legion Arm’s functions expand in Area of Effect, Power, Mobility, and Utility. P's approach to weapon use already makes me prefer it to Bloodborne, but its improvements don't stop there.

Bloodborne had the right idea about how to handle consumables. Limiting the amount you can carry at once, but not the amount you can obtain makes it easier to pace out your item usage. At some points in Dark Souls 2, I remember throwing knives at things from far away because it was low cost and I had like 200 of them on me at all times. In Bloodborne I couldn't do that, so I had to engage with the game with a diverse approach. The only issue with this approach is that healing items are also consumables now. Blood vials are the worst healing system I've seen used in these games because of this. Managing healing resources in your runs through areas in these games is an integral part of the experience. Grinding materials when you run out is not. Dark Souls having a healing option that recharges on death was a huge improvement from Demon's Souls. Then they took it away in Bloodborne for no reason. Blood vials are consumables you have to collect, but are always the same so they aren't even fun to scavenge. At least the healing grass in Demon's Souls has variance so that you have to pick which one to use based on your health. Blood vials are mindless, and when you run out, you need to stop what you are doing and grind for resources because what else are you gonna do, not get hit?

Lies of P handles its inventory perfectly. Not only does it use the consumables limit from Bloodborne, not only are consumables surprisingly effective, but the healing option in this game is completely separate from consumables. Pulse Cells in Lies of P work the same way Estus Flask do in the later souls games. You start with a few uses per life and then gain more as you go through the game. But that's just the starting number. You actually have infinite uses in theory. In Dark Souls, whenever someone online kindles a bonfire you last rested at, you gain an extra use of Estus. It can act as a life saver in a few situations where you think it’s completely over, but then you are graced with a heal out of nowhere. Lies of P turns this same type of idea in a lynch pin of the combat. Whenever you run out of Pulse Cells, you can earn another use by dealing damage and perfect guarding 10 or so times. This elevates the healing system as the best in the genre. Having no healing option during a run can infect you with paralyzing dread. It makes you tense and frantic, like you have no control over anything and you probably play a bit worse because of it. Lies of P gives you a chance to get that control back as long as you fight for it. You need to display either perfect defense or perfect offense. That rush you get when your back is against the wall and you need to claw your way back to a secure spot is the best this game gets. It's like they implemented a comeback mechanic in an action game. When this happens multiple times in a boss fight is when the true pinnacle of gaming is reached. The Ebb and Flow between It's So Over and We're So Back never fails to put me on the edge of my seat.

This is mechanically the strongest souls like and I have zero reservations stating that. It fires on all cylinders and the only area I can say it really drops the ball in is non-linearity. Though even then I can't say it drops the ball as it never picks it up to begin with. The sequence in which you experience content in Lies of P will always be the same. You might use a different build and pick different dialogue options, but that will be the only variance. The game divides its area into chapters which have to be unlocked one by one. There is only a single small optional area in the whole game as well. Your second playthrough isn't going to drastically change your experience.

I don't have an issue with this frankly. The weapon options will keep me coming back to the game and with leveling up being so easy to do in new game+, I won't be able to resist doing another run on my current file. P is not hurting in the replay value department. I find the focus on linearity a trade off rather than a drawback. The story is straight forward and rigid, but that also makes it more focused and engaging to me. It's strange, to play one of these games, and know exactly what the hell is happening. It's actually a novel concept. The level design also benefits nicely from the linearity. Because the ability of the player can be ascertained at any point in the game, and there's only one direction they are coming from, each area is meticulously designed. Enemy encounters always have tremendous thought placed into them and secrets and shortcuts are littered throughout. It's why I like Dark Souls 3 so much and I think P out classes it in this regard. I've been comparing this game to Bloodborne a lot, but there is a very real threat that P eclipses that game too.

Souls games have a tendency to be uneven. My favorite ones have a stretch where I check out and don't want to play the game anymore. Dark Souls has Lost Izalith. Elden Ring has the Snowy Mountains. Bloodborne has that sh*tty forest with the snakes. Dark Souls 3 has the first DLC. Lies of P....doesn't have one of those. It's strange. The entire game is good. Neowitz just doesn't miss. And that’s what it all comes down to really. I love the intimate inter-connectivity of Dark Souls, but dread the end game. I'm deeply impressed with the scope and quality of Elden Ring, but dread the end game. I simply adore Lies of P in its totality. There are some bosses I wish didn't have second phases. I wish I could play as a girl because it feels weird to not do that in a souls game for me. But all I have are minor complaints which I've never been able to say before. Neowitz cooked with this game and if I let it simmer a bit, Lies of P might become my go to souls game.

My 2 cents on 13 sentinels

Look I don't want to talk about 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim too much. Not only is it a game that's entirely made of spoilers, the sequence of those spoilers are organized in a way which makes it impossible for me to begin outlining anything about this plot. My narrative analysis skills are not up to snuff. I remember being impressed with the multiple story lines intersecting in early 3D Sonic games. Oh boy, 13 Sentinels would have annihilated baby Marcus' brain if it was even remotely possible for a game like this to exist back then. It has 13 main characters, each with their own story that reveals earth shattering details about the world which in turn re-contextualizes everything you've learned. Plot lines can spoil each other. It's like each story mode is racing to see which can blow your mind first. It's delightfully intricate and can basically only be done in this light novel format. I came into this game with general knowledge of the plot due to a stream I casually watched years ago. Even with that knowledge, this game just kept impressing me, with the plot detail I never knew, the plot details I forgot, and subtle character relations and intricacies that are only clear after knowing what the f*ck is going on. I refuse to dive into it as I don’t have the time, but the plot of this game is a 10.

While the plot is the main selling point, even if it was mediocre it would still be worth playing. This may have been Game of My Year 2020 if I played it when I bought it. It would be down to Kingdom Hearts 3: Remind and this. I was initially put off by the Real Time Strategy combat part of the game. It looked a bit bland to me. I don’t know what was wrong with me back then. This gameplay rules. You pilot a bunch of robots and play tower defense for 2 minutes in missions. It's not thrilling a lot of the time but it's always satisfying. Seeing your Sentinel slice through hordes of enemies with a single attack gives me those good chemicals; Upgrading my mech abilities after the battle to make numbers go higher activates the fun spot in my caveman brain; Completing the whole game in one streak and fulfilling all the side goals just makes me feel like a good boy. There's complexity to it for sure, but you never need to think that hard, it just helps if you do. And that makes the whole experience relaxing, which is a nice change of pace due the RTS segments acting as a bit if a break from the bat sh*t insane story.

This presentation is bonkers by the way. It's the most stunning light novel I've ever laid eyes on. The depth and detail of each asset in this game is unreal. The UI, the character models, the unique graphic images, the backgrounds. It's all peak. And the f*cking Soundtrack. Christ this is such a 10 it's unreal. I’m going to buy Unicorn Overlord on release because that's how much goodwill Vanillaware has built with me. I usually say negative things when I do write ups on games, and I do have some gripes, but I just don't care because the game balls too hard.

Hi-Fi Rush: Directed by Edgar Wright

*Played in February 2023, Written in January 2024

Hi-Fi Rush is the dream of every rhythmically inclined dork made manifest. It’s the bored kid in the back of the class tapping their pencil to the ticking of a clock. It's the tired adult trying to get through their dull chores by folding laundry in tune to whatever is blasting on their Spotify playlist. It's the gym bro who does his curls on a perfect 4 count. Hi-Fi rush is every single Anime AMV you've ever watched. Hi-Fi Rush is Baby Driver, but a video game, and not starring any sex offenders. Even if you haven't outwardly said it, if you can relate to any of the above, you have been wanting a game like Hi-Fi Rush for a while. This is not to say that it’s the only game where you do your actions to the beat of the music. BPM is a shooter with the same concept. Crypt of the Necrodancer is a Dungeon Crawler with this concept. What sets Hi-Fi rush apart is that it applies it to a genre that’s not already saturated in the market.

Hi-Fi is a character action game where everything is synced to the beat of the background music. Every attack you do, every movement you make happens on beat. The enemies and environments adhere to this same rule. Your button presses don't have to be in rhythm, but it will feel better if you do and you'll be rewarded for playing this way. Hi-Fi Rush is a rhythm game masquerading as an action game, but that just makes it a better action game rather that an abomination trying to fasten two incongruent ideas together.

I've come to realize the true form of the character action genre action after playing Hi-fi Rush: A series over the top dancing games. All your moves have a set time they take. You need to be confident in execution. You need to understand the rhythm of your partner or in this case your enemy. I know it's a cliche at this point, but fighting really is like dancing. Trust me, I started dancing earlier this year and the only reason I’m any good at it is because I studied martial arts for 9 years prior. Every beat has you doing a motion even if it doesn't seem that way. It's like you're using moves and each move takes up a set count and has to be done with the correct set up. You need to understand what your partner is doing in order to get the juiciest combos. It isn't that much different from other character action games. But in Hi-Fi you are rewarded for being on rhythm and it's feasible to do so because everything is.

All enemies in these games have a timing to their attacks that you have to study in order to match to so you can counter effectively. Hi-Fi heavily decreases the study period, and due to that, it's easier to understand the mechanics of the game. The enemies follow the same rhythm as you, so you always know your cue and it's up to you to nail your part. You know when you should parry, when you should dodge, or when you should attack because those things always happen on the beat. It gives you a bit of foresight and lends an air of predictability for what's to come. When Hi-Fi Rush throws 12 enemies at me at once, I don't freak out. I just get through the song. If I stay on rhythm the moves will come to me. The rhythm tethers you to a place of comfort among the chaos. And once you reach the end and see how that platoon of hilarious robots didn't stand a chance against you, you start to feel like a f*cking rock star.

Making you feel like a rock start is Hi-Fi Rush’s Greatest Strength. It doesn’t just do that by having your main character swing at goons with his guitar. The cast plays a huge role in that as well. What would a rock star be without a band? Throughout the game you meet endearing characters that not only introduce fun character dynamics, but also add flavor and volume to the gameplay. This supporting cast act as assist that you can summon for brief attacks. By the end of the game you have 3 other band members, each that attack on beat with their own weapons and seamlessly flow in and out of your attacks. Once you get comfortable with using the assist action and switching between party members, you aren’t only the lead musician, you’re the conductor. And your audience just so happens to be a horde of robots trying to kill you. But I’ve learned to appreciate my fans all the same. The enemy variety in the game always keeps you on your toes. They all need to be handled in a different way and that can make it pretty hard to stay on rhythm, but all the more satisfying when you do. The same can be said even more so for the boss fights as they are all multi phase gauntlets that result in a clash of egos as if it was some wild artist collab.

The goal of each fight you do in Hi-Fi Rush is to pull off the hottest jam session you can do with your band. That’s what makes the ranking system make sense in this game. Usually I end up ignoring the ranking systems in these games because they expect way more than what I’m willing to put in and I don’t have it in me to play perfect. Hi-Fi Rush doesn’t expect perfection. This ranking system is unique in that instead of expecting the player to get through the encounter without getting hit, it expects the player to stay on rhythm. You can get hit as much as you can without dying. What matters is staying on beat, which is something I want to do anyway as it feels great. I’m more intrinsically pushed to get better ranks on these missions because it demands I play in the way that is the most fun. I feel the same way about Astral Chain, where variety in what you do is graded rather than how perfect the encounter was. Pulling off varied moves in that game is when it’s the most fun, so having the system be like this makes sense. The ranking in Hi-Fi Rush clicks with me in a similar way. I’m not gonna S rank everything still because these levels are too long, but I’m more likely to do that here than in Devil May Cry.

I want to take this a moment in this last paragraph to mention that everything else within Hi-Fi is stellar as well. The characters are A+ and writing is exactly what it needs to be. The humor always landed for me and the emotional moments in the plot were some of my highlights of 2023 for gaming. Of course the music rules the whole way through and is used better than any game has ever used music because of how it's integrated into the gameplay and story. Everything in this game is polished and it's stuffed full of bonus content. There's an elaborate training room, accessibility options up the wazoo, an additional soundtrack made to be copyright proof that's just as good as the normal soundtrack. The only actual issues I’d say the game has is the level design, in that there is too much of it. It’s good and the set pieces are fun, but it's not enough to justify the amount of platforming you are doing. The horizontal movement in your normal jump is so trash that jumping on things never actually feels good to do. I'd be a way bigger fan of this game if your jump had a decent arc or if those parts were you had to platform were decreased by 50%. Which is insane considering I'm already a huge fan of this game. I’m glad that there is still room for improvement. I want this to be a franchise or at least have it inspire similar games with different music genres. A funk based Hi-Fi rush would own so hard I can't stand it not being a real thing.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Side Content Redeemed

*Played in April 2023, Written in December 2023

The Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed DLC is a 30 hour stand alone campaign expansion of Xenoblade Chronicles 3. So it's unsurprisingly good. The story is solid and has interesting things to say about planning for the future and tribalism. The music continues the Xenoblade DLC tradition of having battle themes that don’t miss, not even a little bit. The game play is fun and the tweaks to combo customization make it the best the series has seen. It successfully tied up this ten year long saga while making me salivate for more. It's damn good. But the only thing I really want to talk about is the progression system in this. Since the first Xenoblade the idea of 100% completion seemed ridiculous. There were hundreds of side quests, many of which were only available for limited periods of time and most of which were just boring. Affinity building between all party members felt like its own part time job unless you knew exactly what presents to give these hoes. Leveling up to max was a feat I didn't even come close to doing. Doing everything in that game was this insurmountable crucible. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 faired much better in this regard despite it having even more side content. The side quest just informed you way more about the world and had better rewards. I completed a good amount of 2, until I got to the Ursula side quest and I ran as fast as possible away from that nonsense. Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna the Golden Country is the first Xenoblade game I ended up doing everything in, and I would have taken great pride in that accomplishment...if it wasn't the same accomplishment of everyone who beats that DLC due to it being mandatory.

In Xenoblade 3, I made sure to do pretty much everything. The side quest were better than ever and tied into the narrative in such a way that some felt mandatory without actually being mandatory. It was a good approach, but it didn't push me to complete it because all side quest were not created equal. There is a distinct difference between a good side quest and a mid one, thus I never really felt the desire to play the lesser ones because they already showed their hand in terms of quality.

The side content has been steadily getting better in this franchise, but there was still something keeping me from actually getting me to do everything. And it had nothing to do with the actual quality of the side content, just its integration. Future Redeemed gave me exactly what I needed, a giant graphic at the top of the menu telling me how much stuff I have done and have to do. It's such an effective technique in extrinsic motivation. It's the same theory behind map completion in a Metroid or Zelda game. You start with nothing, but you slowly piece everything together. When you see how much ground you've covered without realizing it once you look at your map for the first time in a while, you feel satisfied and want to do the same for the rest of the map. Sure this game also has a map like that where the same principle applies, but the menu that breaks down which category of things you've completed follows suit. The percentage numbers keep rising as you play and then eventually one of them is near 100%, but not quite. So you do whatever you have to do to get that to 100%. But then you look at the neighboring category and realize that's now also pretty close, so you attempt to bump that up as well. Each completion category is like one area chunk you want to fill out.

The menu shows what you have left to do, hints at where you have to go and it really felt like completion was within mortal reach the entire time. This organization and display isn't even the genius part of this system. Those sick bastards at Monolith have condensed the concept of completion into a refined resource to be used to make all your characters cooler. Everything you do towards completion has a value, and that value is used to upgrade your team. That move or skill that you want your character to have is unlocked through this completion currency. You'll always have some just by going through the game normally, but you can always have more and because that skill grid full of locked abilities is constantly mocking you, you will. It really seems obvious in retrospect. Don't force your players to do side stuff, incorporate the side stuff so hard into the systems of the game that players who ignore it are just doing a challenge run. This isn't even delegated entirely to the completion menu. Other core functions of the gameplay are locked behind items you find in the world. Some will be placed right in front of you, but others you'll need to fully explore the world and as a result I've never had more fun doing so.

Future Redeemed assures that every action you do that's not marked on the map is handsomely rewarded. Side content is not forced like it is in Torna. It's not placed in a caste system like the base game. It's just a list of things that will inherently have value to you if you do them, and it ends up being the perfect cap off trilogy, by being the one that finally makes all those things you can do in this big open world mean something purely from a gameplay perspective. I get that some people may not want their modularity locked in such a way, but this is perfect for me. The next Xenoblade game is likely to take a huge shift, but if there is one thing I want carried over, it's this.

Maria’s Big Adventure featuring Richter Belmont from the Castlevania series

Played in October 2023, Written in December 2023

Anyone who tells you that Castlevania Rondo of Blood is the best classic style Castlevania can probably be trusted. It's pretty much the pinnacle in all regard. It's surprisingly fair in its level design for the most part. There were only like 2 levels that felt a little too ridiculous given your move set. Some of the bosses can get a little insane, but they were still fun to figure out and form strategies around. This game frustrated me a lot because it's hard, but I always felt satisfaction after I overcame a challenge which kept me coming back. I did back down after I died in the boss rush at the end of stage 5b, but that's just because I hate boss rushed and don't respect them or their families. The optional level itself wasn't worth going through again if the only thing at the end is a boss rush, even if it does have the best song in this game. I can't understate how hard this soundtrack slays by the way. Every arrangement and new tracks kills it and the audio quality isn't weighed down by the hardware at all.

I think what made this game more manageable than the others was the second playable character, Maria. Maria acts as somewhat of an easy mode. She has a double jump, a slide, and attacks twice as fast. She doesn't completely trivialize the difficulty of the game though because she takes twice as much damage as Richter. She’s easier, but you still have to try. There were even some cases where I preferred to play as the main character, Richter, because I knew I'd get hit a few times no matter what. Though make no mistake, my go to character was still Maria. Rondo of Blood handles character switching a bit differently than Castlevania 3 or Castlevania Bloodlines. You aren't playing separate campaigns nor are you switching between characters at will. You can switch who you play as between levels. So the way I played was changing characters after each game over. This way I was able to experience the game with both characters at once. It made my Maria runs a bit of staging ground for Richter runs because I’d be less intimated by the level design after I cleared part of it with her. Stage 5 seemed impossible with Richter at first, but he was the one I ended up beating the level with. I can dig this approach to difficulty. Having an easy character you aren't locked into so you can play as the more demanding character once you are ready. It is much more sober methodology than imposing a strict dichotomy between easy and hard mode.

Maria is honestly a big reason I enjoyed the game so much. I love the security of having a busted character at your disposal. Maria is pretty much Proto-Cream the Rabbit. When I first beat Sonic Advance 2, I didn't do it as Sonic because I was 6 years old and still bad at Sonic games. I used Cream, and then I beat it with Sonic later. The same concept applies here, but I have less of an excuse because I really should be good enough at these games by now. But even if Maria wasn't busted in the context of this game, she's still fun because she has a double jump. And that's why Rondo of Blood is good really. It's brave enough to give you a double jump, so it can now take its place along side the handheld Castlevanias as one of my favorite Castlevania games. I’ve always appreciated Classicvania games, but never fell in love with any of them like I did with games after Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. But I think I feel a similar level of affection towards Rondo. This is the point in the timeline where the franchise really clicks with me.

Picross^3

*Played throughout all of 2023, Written in December 2023

It’s Picross, but in 3D. Hal Laboratories 100% understood the assignment here because this is as exact as a 3D evolution can get. Those developers are just good at converting 2D mechanics into 3D ones if Kirby and the Forgotten Land is anything to go by. Picross 3D is 1 dimension more complicated, 1 dimension more satisfying, and at times, 1 dimension more frustrating.

The same core concepts of Picross are present. Each row follows its own rules of where squares can exist. By overlapping the rules between adjacent intersecting columns, you can figure out the nature of the puzzle little by little. Here there is just an extra axis applied, but you still end up only comparing columns and rows. You just end up doing it more times because you are essentially doing multiple Nonograms stacked on top of each and next to each other. The rules for the columns and rows are a bit stricter though, as having only a number of blocks as a rule would be too vague for it to work. Instead there are limits on how many segments of blocks are allowed. The point is, you're multiplying the amount of sh*t you keep track of by the depth added in Picross 3D. It feels wild at first, but solving some of these were the most satisfying Picross experiences I've had.

The reason for this isn't just the increased complexity, but the very nature of 3D. Nonograms always try to be some picture. But unless the silhouette of the image is strong, you won't have a clue what some of them are until they are colored in at the end. I never had that issue in Picross 3D while I've had that happen in even the best Picross games. I always knew what the art piece at the end was before the reveal because there is no abstraction of what the shape is. In 3D you are not painting, you are sculpting. You are given a large block to chip away at rather than constructing something from scratch. Form is the most important part of the product, so it is always clear.

The change from painting to sculpting also helps better describe the core of what I find Picross to be: Exclusion. In Picross, you find what can't possibly be colored in, so you know what has to be colored in. In 3D, you find what has to be intact so you can figure out what to get rid of. In both scenarios you are chipping away at impossibilities, but in 3D it's far more literal and completely skips the beginning phase in normal Picross of trying to place the initial building blocks yourself. You are pretty much doing the same thing, but it feels more direct here.

Now it being direct does not mean it's faster to get through these. Not all. In fact that's my main issue with Picross 3D. Things take too long to do, not because it's more complicated, but because you end up spending most of your time rotating and dissecting the initial block. I started to get Kid Icarus Uprising wrist pain playing through some of these time trials. The best advice I can give when playing this game is to not even attempt to get high ranks on these puzzles. It's veeeeery easy to mis-click a block and lose your perfect streak and trying to rotate your sculpture too fast will break either your DS screen or your hand. Also, don't be like me. Once you feel like you have mastered the logic of this game, stop and go to bed. Don't continue out of obligation. These later levels take 30+ minutes and there's a lot of them. Like even more than Mario Super Picross. Not quite as much as Hatsune Miku: Logic Paint S though. This game has a lot of content, so taking a break and coming back is recommended.

Honestly….I kinda want to play this game in VR. This is coming from someone who has sandbagged Virtual Reality at every turn. 99% of the time I’d rather just have a screen and a controller. But this left over 1% is where I think Picross 3D might fall into. I require intimate interaction with this 3 dimensional object and VR might be the best way to allow for that.

I can see myself returning for the sequel, but not going as hard with it as I did this game. But for now, I'll just stick with regular Picross. It's not as stimulating, but I sure can do a lot of them in the time it takes to do one 3D one.

Super Mario 3D World + Marcus' Fury

*Played in April 2023, Written in December 2023

Super Mario 3D World

After playing the Nintendo Switch version of Super Mario 3D World, my opinion on it has shot up dramatically. I used to view this as the New Super Mario Bros Wii analog to Super Mario 3D Land. It’s bigger. It’s on a Console. It’s multiplayer. It seemed like Nintendo was doing the same thing they did for the DS and Wii on the 3DS and Wii U. And because of this, the game came off as soulless to me. And I always suspected that this was because I never did the full Mario Dissection I do with every Mario game I play. Every single Mario Platformer I’ve played, I’ve scanned from end to end. I’ve gotten every star, moon and shine sprite under the angry sun. I’ve played and beaten every level. I devoured every challenge. Aside from the ones on the Wii U. Because I never owned them. Because they were on the Wii U. But with the re-release, I can give this game a fair shake and I’m pleasantly surprised with the level design in this game. Not just because it’s level’s introduce elements in evolving ways as you progress, but because each one introduces something new. Nothing is wasted or overstays its welcome in 3D world. It has an idea, uses it, and then moves on. Despite 3D land being chocked full of Super Mario Bros 3 references, its design doesn’t really reflect that game because of the lack of new ideas presented. 3D world is actually a 3D Mario 3. I didn’t notice it at first because of the multiplayer chaos of my initial playthrough and because you move way slower in the original than in the re-release. I am zooming through these levels at the same pace I would a Mario 3 level and I love it. In terms of level design, this game elicits intrigue and thrill more than either Super Mario Galaxy.

I still like the galaxy games way more than this though.

There are two reasons for this. The first being that I just like the gameplay in Mario Galaxy more. Despite getting to the very end, I was never at a point where I wasn’t having depth perception issues with 3D world. I don’t really have this problem in any other 3D Mario. Like I said, this game is way faster paced so you have less time for your spacial reasoning skills to adapt. There’s also the camera being zoomed out that dampens this for me. Because this is meant for 4 players and they want you to see a bunch of the level at once, the characters you play as are small and thus harder to keep track of when you are platforming. And I think I could adapt to this if the movement and mechanics were closer to Mario Galaxy. I need a corrective mid air measure in these games when they decide to get hard. I need that security so I can start pulling off goofy sh*t without the fear of botching a jump and falling to my doom suddenly. It’s just more fun that way. You get something like this when you play as Peach with her float, but the float is slow and doesn’t feel great to me. When you unlock Rosalina you pretty much unlock the Galaxy move set and I stuck with her for the rest of the game. The only problem with her is that you don’t get to use her power ups and her unique move set at the same time. The constant switch up between what the character can and can’t do never failed to throw me off. At a certain point I avoided power ups just because I wanted to use her spin instead. This led to me sticking to a character with a huge disadvantage so I could have play in a fashion I felt comfortable with. The new 3D world is faster, but the Galaxy games are more consistent in how they play which I think I value more.

The second reason I couldn’t truly fall in love with 3D world was the post game. I was so psyched after I beat the game and unlocked Rosalina. I couldn’t wait to play all the new levels in the Star World. And at first that excitement was warranted. A lot of the levels in the star world are just as good the ones in the main campaign. But the Star World is only a fourth of the post game. There are three more worlds afterwards that kinda suck. The beauty of the levels was the sheer density of unique concepts implemented in engaging ways. The Mushroom and Flower bonus worlds are the same levels you’ve played before only more annoying. It felt like the game was being padded with Mario 3 e-reader levels. It felt like padding even more when I found out I had to collect every stamp in the game and get to the top of every flag pole to unlock the final final world. And after replaying levels to flagpole them (Why was this a thing?) I unlocked this final world only to be greeted with a cool captain toad challenge and 2 gauntlet levels that test your endurance. At this point I do not like this game enough to do these. It has no new concepts and the levels are long now. I’m still trying to summon up the strength to beat the last level as I’m writing this. But I just can’t do it. I don’t have that dog in me. I’m confident in my ability to bash my head against an obstacle over and over again until I achieve victory, but I can only do that if the process itself is fun. And I stopped having fun 2 worlds ago. The Main Game is still great and is on par with the other 3D Mario games. It’s just not a new favorite like I wanted it to be.

Bowser's Fury

Bowser’s Fury, the pack in game for the Super Mario 3D world re-release, gave me this weird feeling while playing it. Sure the structure and level design are pretty much everything I want from a 3D Mario game. The music slaps and the game looks great. The camera zoom issue I had with 3D World is fixed due to this being primarily single player. But there was something off about it the whole time I was playing it. I was annoyed a bit with the controls due to how I had to hold the face buttons to run while being expected to control the improved camera with the same finger. And that was the main explicit issue I had with the game. But most of the time it didn’t really bother me that much. I noticed that the things you did to get Cat Shines repeat a bit too often. But those things you do to get those shines are inherently fun 80% of the time. When I stop and think about those times where the camera controls did bother me and the 20% of the shines that weren’t fun, there is one eye opening commonality. Bowser is involved.

Bowser is the best Mario character. Free. It’s not even close. He is far and away the most consistently entertaining, threatening, and compelling force in the franchise. So why is he the worst part of this game? Every time God Slayer Bowser shows up, the game becomes a mess. He looks raw and gives a sense of urgency to the platforming. But that mix up is too chaotic to design anything around. There is no clear pattern to the way Bowser attacks you when he shows up. There is a clear pattern to the level design. So when these two things come together, it doesn’t feel like you are overcoming a challenge designed by the developers, it feels like you are playing a game and then your little brother randomly decides to slap the controller out of your hands every 30 seconds. When I’m in mid air and Bowser shoots a giant laser beam at me from across the map, it doesn’t feel like it was my fault. When I’m attempting to run while also adjusting my camera only for a giant meteor to block the entire screen causing me to fall off a cliff, I fail to understand what I could have improved on. It’s disruptive in the worst possible way and exacerbates every issue I had with the gameplay.

This chaos isn’t even bearable when you aren’t platforming. The 20% of the shines I referred to earlier are only accessible by Bowser destroying designated areas on the map. So the only way you can get them is by waiting. You don’t know when he will appear and you don’t know when he will attack. So you just sit in an area and wait for him to try to kill you and then you get rewarded for it. I get that Bowser appearing isn’t a good thing story wise. And the gameplay should reflect that to a degree. But it never felt like this apathetic force of nature, only that I was being bullied. It didn’t just feel like Mario was being bullied, It felt like I was being bullied. This game had me thinking that Bowser’s appearances weren’t random and they are designed to be as inconvenient as possible. Like the deadbeat father you’d expect Bowser to be, but actually isn’t, he only seemed to appear when I didn’t want him to and was never there when I needed him. And I wasn’t that off with this hypothesis as the rate he shows up noticeably increases near the middle and end of the game. And in these moments I felt true rage. I was now playing “Mario 3D World + Marcus’ Fury”. The last stretch of this game where he wouldn’t go away or stop attacking while I tried to get the only shine I knew how to get was the worst it’s ever been for me. I’ve NEVER gotten more mad at a Mario game. I realize that the shine I set my sights on was probably the hardest one in the game, but literally no other shine was in sight. If I just wandered into an easier area it wouldn’t have tilted me as much. But the design of the game allowed for this to happen. If your “random” encounter system can result in the worst platforming challenge I’ve ever played in an official Mario game, that’s a failure of that system. And I’ve played A LOT OF MARIO. This was some Mario Sunshine Pachinko Garbage that I will never forgive. Even the hype inspired Kaiju Boss Fights in this game aren’t enough to wash the salt out of my wounds.

If this emotional reaction I got was the intent of the game, then it’s a f*cking masterpiece by every metric. It has tapped into a realm of player tilt no Dark Souls game could ever hope to achieve. I just wish it didn’t force me to resent Bowser.

Sea of Throwbacks

*Played in September 2023, Written in December 2023

So I got Sea of Stars thinking it was going to be a Chrono Trigger throwback, but it actually ended up also being a Super Mario RPG throw back too. I was not disappointed in this aspect as both of these games rule. Honestly it’s probably a mélange of Classic RPGs that I just haven’t played because I wasn’t born yet, but I can’t verify that. Visually it's reminiscent of Chrono Trigger and the overworld traversal is completely cribbed from it as well. Your entire active party travels behind you as you overcome obstacles, and once you get into battle, it happens exactly where you initiated said encounter on the map. And of course, Sea of Stars is full of dual and triple tech team moves which I can't get enough of. This game is also stuffed to the brim with lore and despite the levity it tends to have, it for the most part takes itself seriously. These are the things I expected when going in. But I did not expect the combat of this game to be a full evolution of Super Mario RPG’s. Action commands and timed hits are essential to being successful in encounters. Sure there are aspects of Chrono Trigger as well, but the small skill list and party count really made it feel more like Mario. It's even evident outside the combat, due to the pacing of the game near the middle. Mario RPG is a breezy ass game and while I can't say the same for the beginning and end of Sea of Stars, once this game kicks up the speed and stops putting things in your way, it felt like the ideal successor. I'm not kidding, I got Bug Fables vibes during this game, which is some of the highest praise I can give a spiritual successor.

Sea of stars has a fun world to explore that’s teeming with puzzles and secrets. You get new abilities as you move through the game that make backtracking more engaging now that you can interact with your environment differently. But in all honesty, I had the most fun when the game was at its most linear. This was made by the same team who worked on The Messenger. I haven't played The Messenger, but from what I gather, it’s like half Linear Platformer and half Search Action game. And I've seen nothing but love given to the Ninja Gaiden like parts while I've seen lukewarm reception to the Metroidvania parts. I don’t know if this is true at all, but I would not be surprised if it was. Once I started making steady and quick progress I didn't want that vibe to die down. It feels incredible to blast through a level with Megaman ass music in the background, taking on hordes of enemies one by one to get to your destination. It perfectly converted the classic sidescrolling energy into a classic RPG. Why would I want to return to another area and back track after moments as peak as these? They really tapped into something with the mid section of this game and a lot of it comes down to the perfect presentation and again the combat.

One thing I really like about more modern turn based RPGs is the manipulation of the action economy. Classic RPGs can get a ton of flak for having turn based combat, but I only really see a problem with that format if you aren't really thinking and are mostly just waiting your turn. Sea of Stars side steps both of these issues because the whole point of combat is to delay enemy turns while dealing damage. Each enemy has a timer and a set of elements above their head. Every time someone in your party takes a turn, that timer goes down. When it hits zero, they attack. BUT if you hit the enemy with attacks of the displayed element, they skip that turn and attack later. Because each party member has different elements they can use and each attack uses different elements, you need to be constantly thinking ahead about when characters need to attack and what resources need to be reserved. The entire goal is to make sure you are playing the game as much as possible and that your opponent isn’t. And it doesn't just constantly stimulate your brain, but also your reflexes, as the timed hits don't just do extra damage, they use extra elements as well so your strategies depend on you nailing your timing. It is the exact direction I would have liked Super Mario RPG to head in. It’s great that action commands aren’t required for that game, but I much prefer a system that’s built around the expectation that you won’t screw up the timing of your moves.

What didn't satisfy me was the story. It starts pretty slow and doesn't really get interesting until mid way through the game. But once I started to get into it, I was itching to see what they were cooking. And I was enjoying the meal until the waiter came in cleared my plate before I was done eating. This game just kinda...ends. It's not super abrupt, but it feels like there should be more or at least a falling action. There is none of that. Just climax and credits. And I think this is because the real ending is locked behind 100% completion. Which I won't do. It's fine for secret bosses and combat trials which I did do a few of. But finding 70 collectible sea shells spread across the rather large and dense world is a bit of nightmare. Even the radar I unlocked isn't precise enough to be valuable at all. Yea the story got kinda good, but it's not good enough for me to go through all that work. I am a bit intrigued about the story of The Messenger and how it connects to this game. And whatever game this team makes next I'll definitely be on board with. Despite some gripes, I was thoroughly impresses with Sea of Stars and who knows, if I ever get an itch to play it again maybe I will collect those dumb sea shells.

No Man’s Wario Land

*Played in February 2023, Written in December 2023

Wario Land 3 is kinda ass. I genuinely believe it to be the worst Wario Land game. Which is amusing because a lot of people say Wario 3 is one of the best Game Boy Color games. And sure, it's impressive. It looks fantastic. It’s basically is a level based Search Action game. But while back tracking can be fun when returning to an area with new abilities, Wario Land 3 makes sure you never have too much fun with your new toys, or in this game’s case, old toys.

I do like the inter-connectivity of Wario Land 3 to an extent. Getting one treasure from a level and using it to affect another level in some cartoony way is always charming. There is so much joy to be had in this game, but they divide that joy up and scatter it across the land like a set of petrified Dragon Balls. The coolest thing about Wario Land 2 was the move set you are given to use throughout the whole game. It was far more expansive than the first and made the franchise more than just Mario with a shoulder bash and throw. Those same moves you can do in Wario Land 3, but only by the end of the game. You need to unlock those moves you already had in the last game. This isn't a Metroid Situation where you get dragged back to your base form at the beginning of a new game. This is the base form itself getting nerfed. Imagine if Samus couldn't shoot in the next Metroid game, that's exactly what Wario Land 3 does. If you go from Wario Land 1 to 3, it might be bearable, but I played these games in order so f*ck me I guess. It feels like I'm being taunted at every turn. I see obstacles I should logically be able to surmount right now, but can't because the game decided that would be too much fun. They should have built on the move set of the previous game instead of stripping it away. And I think I would have been more okay with recovering the old moves if those were the main content gates this game had. But no, this game has too many bad ideas to allow that to happen.

I despise the way Wario Land 3 is structured. Each level has 4 treasures. You can only get 1 at a time and the other 3 are locked off until you get another ability or treasure from a different level. This creates this complex web of level paths required to beat the game. The whole adventure is just a huge convoluted fetch quest for an evil clown. Figuring out what to do and where to go is a nightmare. Not because progress isn't obvious, but because progress is actively obscured. Points of interest are highlighted after each treasure you get. But these treasures could very well lead to a dead end. It felt like I was getting gas lit by Wario AGAIN. I kept finding treasures and they kept amounting to nothing but a completion score I didn't care about because there is no reward for it. I was wasting my time revisiting levels I didn't like, so I could unlock other levels I probably wouldn't like. And often I’d find out that either the treasure was worthless or I couldn't access the treasure because it wasn't the right time of day. The content in this game is working against itself and worst of all they made treasure feel bad to collect in a game about collecting treasure. It never felt like I was intentionally going after something extra, it felt like the extra content was getting in the way of the main adventure. They also made the money cap in this game 999. That is not only functionally too low as I maxed out my wallet very early in the game, it’s also just a pitifully low number in general. You are playing as Wario. The greediest gus this side of Sarasaland. I’m supposed to be getting bank here, yet I can’t break 4 digits and have nothing to spend my dough on other than a golf mini game. It’s pathetic.

As I already revealed a bit of before, I also don't like these levels. The structure definitely weighs them down for me. I’d end up exploring the core of them on my first run and then the next 3 runs were clean up rounds to find extra rooms. I'd rather just do the whole level at once, but they kick you out after you find a treasure and by the time I return, I’m not invested. I don't feel satisfied after 1 measly treasure chest which is kind of the crux of my issue. If it felt like a complete level, I’d be fine getting kicked out and sent away. But because the initial visit isn't satisfying, it never feels like you are getting more bang for your buck, just the rest of what you paid for. This is like if you could only get 1 star in a level in Super Mario 64, and then have to be forced into another level. The levels themselves can be fun and have some neat puzzles, but it's bogged down by the constant gating and stupid golf mini games that you have to do. Also these power up effects take too damn long to wear off and it feels like I'm just waiting for them to end most of the time.

It's Ambitious. It's Impressive. It's Not Good. It disappoints me greatly to know that I live in a society where I’m surrounded by people who might believe this is the pinnacle of the series. I’m actually stunned at how much I didn’t like it. This wasn’t even my first crack at it. I tried this out a decade ago when it came to the 3DS Eshop. And I dropped it shortly after playing the first few levels despite me having just 100% completed Wario Land 2. I figured I was just a dumb kid with undiagnosed ADHD and that the game was as good as everyone said it was. But now I still don’t like it, so maybe I’m just a dumb adult with undiagnosed ADHD.

Sonic Investigations: Miles Hedgeworth

*Played in April 2023, Written in December 2023

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is perhaps the most consistently good Sonic game released in the past 6 years. So it’s not a shocker that it’s not made by Sonic Team. Not saying Sonic Team isn’t capable of this, but it has come to be something I don’t expect out of them. This game solidifies the Sonic the Hedgehog Social Team as the pinnacle of brand management. For years, the Sonic Twitter and YouTube channel has been running circles around every other social media account that manages a video game franchise. Perfectly aware of its public image and willing to poke fun at itself. Active enough to keep up its presence, but not enough to be overbearing. It’s not just trailers and funny tweets here and there. Exclusive remixes are posted on the YouTube channel. The Social Team has done nothing but add value to the franchise. Not just as extra bits of content, but supplements to the games. The Twitter take overs are silly and definitely not canon, but they do give insight into the character dynamics we can’t always see in the games, and having the official Voice Actors really help sell it. The Tails Tube videos actually are canon, and answer questions that fans have had on their minds for decades. There’s pretty much always a tie in animation to whatever game is about to release, and they are always delightful.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is a game developed by the Sonic Social team over the course of a year, and to the surprise of only people who haven’t been paying attention, it’s a f*cking banger. Sonic Games have had an issue with tone for a while now. Ever since the whiplash from the shift to Sonic Heroes from Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Team has not been sure how heavy the narrative should be. Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 06 trying too hard to tell a mature story was off putting to a lot of people. Sonic Unleashed and the Story Book games were also a bit heavy hearted, but the stories were good so it’s hard to complain about them. The games of the 2010’s dialed back on the edgy seriousness to an extreme degree, and I hated them for it. I wasn’t mad that my cartoon about a fast rodent wasn’t PG13 though, I was mad that it wasn’t earnest anymore. I like Sonic when it’s light hearted. But I also love it when it’s serious too. Or at least takes itself seriously. The writing in the 2010’s reeks of insincerity and as a result, it felt like the stories it told didn’t matter to the people making them. If it didn’t matter to them, why should it matter to me?

The tone in the Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is the median ideal for a Sonic story. It’s wholesome, fun, and genuinely hilarious, and the plot isn’t anything too complex. But the characters still feel distinct, there are stakes and shocking moments, and while it lacks complexity, its structure is solid and clever at points. I don’t want every Sonic game to be like it, but they should probably start from this base line and then decide how much more edgy or light hearted they want to be from that point. Ideas presented in earlier games are expanded on in this game and it makes it feel like the world actually matters. Every word is written with respect and reverence and you can easily tell that the people who made this game LOVE Sonic. This is the clearest in the character writing. It’s crazy how they not only keep these characters consistent from over 20 years of games, but also how far they end up elevating them. I walked away from this game liking Espio way more than I thought I would. In fact I every single character in the game gets a bit of a glow up. It got me hyped to play more Sonic stuff, but due to a craving of narrative instead of gameplay and aesthetics.

But even on that front this game kinda nails it. It’s a visual novel, so gameplay isn’t too much of a factor, but there are still minigames that pop up that you can do. The difficulty of them is toggleable so it’s pretty hard the scrutinize as they are at worst, a 30 second sequence of Sonic running in a line. But with the default difficulty they are exactly what they need to be. Somewhat hard, but with infinite continues. Simple and easy to understand gameplay, all delivered in short burst. The art is top notch too. I don’t know if any of the artist who work on the comic were involved in this game, but it feels like the same philosophies are being used in the character portraits in this game. Soft yet detailed designs, just malleable enough to get off any insane expression the illustrators can dream up. There are some golden screen shots produced by this game. I could easily imagine The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog as it’s own comic arc due to the quality of the writing and art, and that’s probably the highest compliment I can give it. For such a small project, it fires on all cylinders. I was only disappointed in one area: The Music. The music is good enough. It gets the job done. But the pedigree of Sonic music is too high for me to be satisfied with “Good Enough”

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog is a brilliant marketing move to get people to talk more about the brand and fall in love with the characters so that people will buy more of the game. I’m convinced that this was the intent and it succeeded. But honestly, if this was like 5 bucks, I’d still buy it. Not just because I’m a Sonic shill. I genuinely think it’s worth a purchase. If they make a Sonic Visual Novel every single year and charge money for it, I and many others would buy them every single time. I prefer it to be free, but more than anything I’d prefer more stuff like this to exist. We waited 5 years between Forces and Frontiers. With nothing of note in between. There is a void that needs to be filled between these long development cycles, and Sonic Visual Novels slot in perfectly. And now with Sonic Dream Team and Sonic Super Stars both releasing alongside this game this year, I can comfortable say goodbye to those days of brutal droughts. It feels like Sega has learned an important lesson. That people like Sonic, and if a decent one comes out, people will engage with it. I don’t know why that took 15 years to learn, but better late than never I guess.

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Super Mario RPG

*Played in November 2023, Written in December 2023

There was always this mysticism encompassing Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars when I was growing up. I was born around the time the game actually came out, so I had no exposure to it outside of the internet. All I had to go off of was Newgrounds animations featuring characters from the game and people saying Geno should be in the next Super Smash Bros. So the Legend of the Seven Stars truly felt like a legend. Then the game got ported to the Wii Virtual Console and I was pumped. I checked the Wii Shop Channel every hour the day it was set to release. I had no clue what sort of expectations I were to set, but they were high. And after playing it, the game met most of them.

For those who don't know, Super Mario RPG is designed to be a beginner’s RPG. It's incredibly well made, but still relatively simple and introductory. Lucky for me, I was an RPG baby who had only fully played Pokémon as far as the genre went. Super Mario RPG was more engaging than any turn based game I had played up til then and really made me think about individual character stats and strengths instead of just having a bigger number than your opponent in your rock paper scissors match. The world was so weird for a Mario game and I really dug it. And even at the meager age of 11, I could understand how hard Yoko Shimomura was cooking with that soundtrack. I adored it and it quickly became one of my favorite games. I soon joined the correct side of the war that wanted Geno in Smash.

Quick aside, Geno is cool and I’m getting REAL tired of all these contrarian Geno haters acting like wanting him in Smash is some capital offense. Every time that character is brought up, it is immediately accompanied by some dude saying that Geno has no personality and that Geno fans are the most annoying people in the world. No, you foolish Strawman! The most annoying people in the world are the ones who get upset at others for liking things. We just think he's neat dude. He's got an arm canon and shoots lasers from the sky. He’s like if Pinocchio was Megaman, but even cooler than that. He’s like if Pinocchio was Protoman. He's stoic and mysterious. Yet he has moments of levity which make him endearing. Geno has a sick cape and a baggy hat, so by Mario standards, he is dripped the f*ck out. This little dude rules. And you want us to pretend he's not cool? Are you annoyed that we aren't gassing up Mallow instead? I also like that guy too. But even if I didn’t, I’d be cool with him being in my kooky crossover fighter as well. We should all be Gassing up our own favorites instead of tearing down each others. OK, now back to the topic.

After playing Super Mario RPG I was kinda bummed there was no follow up. But then I learned there sort of was. See, I had only played Super Paper Mario up to that point, thus I was only familiar with the gameplay of that game. I assumed all Paper Mario games were strange 2.5D platformers. So when I learned the first Paper Mario was intended to be Super Mario RPG 2, I got really embarrassed before getting really excited. I downloaded it on Virtual Console, played through it and liked it even more than Super Mario RPG. Sure the party members were a downgrade for me, but the minuscule

Damage Numbers and complex build variety allowed me to plan more both in and out of battle. I found It was much easier to form specific strategies when you know the exact rules and damage values you and your opponent are playing with. The badge system was an equip system far deeper than just wearing stat increasing armor, as it took the concept of accessories and fleshed it out into a web of equipable secondary abilities and attacks. These two things along with the charming art style made it my new favorite Mario RPG almost immediately.

Then Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story came out and has reigned supreme ever since. The build complexity wasn't as interesting as the Paper Mario games, but the action part of battles really spoke to me and I adored having Bowser in my party again as he was my favorite party member in Super Mario RPG. I went back and played every other Mario & Luigi and Paper Mario game, and while some got close, none surpassed Bowser’s Inside Story for me. But a good amount surpassed Legend of the Seven Stars. So it’s weird how my feelings for the game have cooled now that it has been outclassed by its successors. I found no reason to return to it. If I wanted customization I'd go to the Paper Mario Games. If I wanted creative battle scenarios and skill checks I’d go to the Mario & Luigi games. There was nothing this game could give me anymore.

When the remake for this game was announced I basically lost my mind. Not just because I didn't expect it, but because I had an instant desire to play it, despite me thinking it wouldn't have much value if I experienced it today. Why? Well obviously there's the nostalgia. Despite it not being a favorite anymore, I still have a positive history with it. But mainly, the initial excitement came from my biggest gripe with the game being solved: The Art Style. In theory the look of Super Mario RPG should appeal to me as I like the characters designs and general color pallet. But I DO NOT like pre-rendered SNES era graphics. I played it on a CRT initially too and I still hated how murky it looked. It was better than Donkey Kong Country, but still not good. This is also why I want a normal remake of Final Fantasy 7, because I hate the pre-rendered backgrounds in that game too. This is probably one of my sauciest takes regarding video games. Hell, all my takes even tangentially related to Donkey Kong Country are kinda wild. Anyway, The remake doesn't have this problem because it's one of the best looking games on the Switch. It's exactly as good as I want it to look in my head when I recall it and that's how remakes ideally should operate. Everything in this game is visually consistent in tone and principle between it and its origin. The soul is completely maintained despite the graphical overhaul.

I was also interested in what the remake would bring to the table in terms of mechanics. As it turns out, every addition benefits the game substantially. The game actively teaching you how to block and time hits made it feel like I wasn't just pressing buttons randomly when an Area of Effect attack reared its ugly head. The combo system encourages good active play by rewarding you for not messing up timings. The team gauge allows for different team attacks, which makes you think about which party members you want out. And it’s not much, but the few team attacks you do get are sick and man I will never tire of Triple Techs being in games like these. It just makes your team feel like a team, and more than ever, that’s what this party feels like. The mid battle party switching is the real winner addition here and I now know what Mallow does in combat instead of putting him on the bench the whole game after getting Peach. Sure, all these additions make the game easier, but the game already was. It is still at its core a simple RPG and it sticks to that philosophy while also adding mechanics.

And I think the simplicity is what I overlooked for all these years. The successors are all longer games that demand more from you. Seven Stars is like a 10 hour game. Some other Mario RPGs can end up being 3 times as long and yea that's too long for me. I feel like the older I get, the shorter I want games to be because they usually end up being bloated as result of their length. Look at Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam. It's a deplorable game in a lot if ways, but the solid combat can carry it pretty far, like 15 hours far. But it's a 30 hour game for some reason. I got bored and it's still to this day the only one of these titles I started and didn't finish. That would never happen in Seven Stars. It is perfectly paced. You are always doing something new in the game, exploring the world at a brisk pace, enjoying everything along the way, and then the game ends on a high note. You crave more and there is more, but that's bonus stuff. You can also replay the game relatively quickly too. And because of its short length, it can be polished to a blinding sheen. This game is stuffed full of flourishes and details that would definitely be missing if this was a 30 hour game. While mechanically I still prefer the other two series, I think now is a good time to explore this brand of shorter Mario RPGs and this team is the one to do it. Every addition they added has been great, so I trust them with a sequel to this entirely. Both of the other types of Mario RPGs are basically dead anyway so it's not like the niche is being filled. Hopefully we'll get another one like this, and if it sucks? Whatever, it only took 10 hours of my time.

Super Bomberman R 2, drawn in December 2023

Konami gave me an excuse to write about the trajectory of Bomberman campaigns

*Played in November 2023, Written in December 2023

For those who know me, it’s apparent that I’m one of those deviants who plays Bomberman games FOR the story mode. We’ve all played multiplayer Bomberman games, and we all had a blast doing so (Pun intended, the pun will always be intended). Multiplayer Bomberman just works and as long as you don’t f*ck it up, it guarantees a Bomberman game is at least a 7/10 if you staple it to the side of any of them. It is pure distilled chaos in its most enjoyable form. But it’s also kind of perfected at this point. Yea, you can add a few more mechanics and characters to play at once, but nothing you can do really changes the feelings that multiplayer elicits. That’s why Single Player modes have always been more intriguing to me. There’s so much potential there, and every few games there’s a new take on the gameplay that could be pushed a little bit further.

Bomberman started out as a Single Player home computer game. The goal was to erradicate the enemies on the screen and then proceed to the next level. This became the default Bomberman Single Player format and didn’t die out until Bomberman Portable on the PSP. In fact it was basically the only gameplay type for a decade. I refer to this style of gameplay as “Genocide” as the goal is to completely clear out the map with no exception. It is the most plentiful Single Player mode and has honestly run its course. Having the goal be to kill every enemy really pins down what the level design and objectives have to be and just ends up dragging out the content. It was probably done the best in Super Bomberman 4 and by then the other gameplay types it created were inherently more interesting, so it was weird that they kept making them for a decade afterwards. There are many more types of Bomberman Single Player modes, and I’m about to break em down and bestow a title corresponding to whatever crime can best describe them.

After Multiplayer modes started getting added to Bomberman games, they pretty much took over the franchise and became the focus going forward. Some games decided to take the Multiplayer and pass it as a Single Player experience by pitting you against AI opponents. This gameplay type I refer to as “Homicide” as it focuses on killing players who have the same abilities as you. The first one to do this was Bomberman Gameboy, also known as Wario Blast in North America. Why is it called Wario Blast? Because they added Wario as a playable character and opponent. Why did they do that? I...I don’t have any answers for that. It still puzzles me to this day.

Homicide is far and away the worst Gameplay type for Single Player Bomberman games. Single Player Bomberman is fun because it’s for the most part Asymmetric. Multiplayer is fun because everyone is on the same level and has to navigate through the same chaos. These games take the worst of both worlds. The inherent equality is stripped from you as you’re forced to play with at least one AI opponent who will dodge every one of your bombs flawlessly, yet will accidentally kill themselves 80% of the time. Defeating them is not satisfying because it always feels like there’s no behavior or strategy you had to learn in order to win, you got lucky because the AI decided not to read your inputs or blow themselves up. And this is all in exchange of potentially great level layouts, varied enemy design, and a genuine feeling of progression. I don’t say this a lot, because I try to appreciate the hands I'm dealt with in life, but I’d truly rather have nothing.

Around the same time as the Homicide gameplay type was created, Bomberman 94 for the Turbo Grafx 16 blessed the world with a new style as well. Instead of the goal being to kill every enemy on the screen, it was to destroy certain enemy structures to open the exit of the level. Due to the goal being shifted to destruction of objects rather than enemies, I title this style as “Property Damage”. I’m a big fan of Property Damage. It gives you more options for how to handle the level now that you don’t have to kill every single thing on the map. Having certain points that the player must travel to allows for more creative map design as well.

It’s a better version of the Genocide gameplay style in every way. Super Bomberman 4 is a dynamite game on in a vacuum, but was ultimately disappointing because Super Bomberman 3 was a Property Damage Game. I would say the gameplay in Super Bomberman 4 is a step up from 3, but its inferior structure drags it down. Property Damage is the best gameplay style that I don’t have a desire to see again. I earnestly believe the formula was perfected in Saturn Bomberman, Aka The Best Bomberman Game. After playing it I was truly satisfied. They don’t need to go back to this well again, just re-release it on modern hardware. It’s the definitive Classic Bomberman Experience.

Not all styles can be as fully realized as Property Damage though. I think the most known gameplay style that fans clamor to make a comeback for is what I’ve come to refer to as “Loitering”. This is the gameplay style created by the N64 Bomberman Games. There is no specific requirement to unlock the exit, you only have to figure out how to get to it while goofing off on the way there. Adventure is the main focus and while all these games have had their problems, they were all solvable problems. A truly amazing Bomberman title is waiting to be made under the Loitering frame work.

Bomberman 64 has some undeniably gilded level design and is an impressive first attempt at a 3D Bomberman game. It frustrates the hell out me when I play it because of the camera and how stupid punishing it is, but that can all be fixed in a follow up or remake. I can say the same for every game of this style. Bomberman Hero would be amazing if it had a slight double jump action to spruce up movement. Bomberman 64: The Second Attack might become one of the best Bomberman Games if it explained and utilized its mechanics with a hint of sanity. Bomberman Generation has the least problems out of any 3D Bomberman game, but feels a bit sterile and safe compared to its predecessors. I’d love to see a version of the game with more open and creative levels. Bomberman Jetters...is a lost cause, but 80% of them are still bursting with potential. I’d prefer they return to this style, but due to it being the most resource intensive option, I doubt that will happen.

Over the years, Konami/Hudsoft has occasionally opted to lean towards somewhat of a fusion of the Property Damage and Genocide archetypes. Games where instead of the objective being to destroy an amount of enemies or objects, the objective differs in every level. This assures variety in level structure and gameplay and it’s basically what I expect Bomberman story modes to be at a bare minimum now. When Super Bomberman R came out and had this gameplay type in place, It felt as if that was the story mode that won out in the end after years of evolution. It’s not my favorite style, but “Crime Spree” felt like the future to me and I fully expected Super Bomberman R 2 to follow suit. The frame work had to be similar to classic Bomberman due to being a sequel to R, so the Loitering games I pined for were assuredly not going to return. The most I could hope for was a Bomberman Blast Story mode scenario where it’s still top down gameplay but with linear levels. Of course there are more options for the series to return to, but I deem those as even less likely. But that won’t stop me from writing about them though.

I will never not be salty about the fate of the Top Down Bomberman Adventure games. This series is at it’s best and most interesting when it’s shamelessly emulating The Legend of Zelda and I wholehearted wish they leaned in harder. Bomberman Quest is a wonderful game buried by a mountain of embarrassing technical issues. The bombs are literally transparency.jpgs and it’s the funniest sh*t I’ve ever seen. This game is barely held together, but traversing the world at your leisure and finding new abilities to use just feels right for the series. Its Gameboy Advance follow up, Bomberman Tournament is hands down one of the best games in the franchise because it cribs even more from Zelda including the tendency for Zelda games to perform decently. Tournament is the best Zelda game on the GBA, hands down. And this sub series peaks here, as its only follow up was Bomberman Story DS, which is a bad game I don’t want to talk about because it makes me VERY angry.

There’s a quality to Bomberman that lends itself to collection and exploration more than other franchises. I think it’s due to the work you put in to collecting and clearing out an area. Most adventure games have you travel to a place, do a quest, and then you have what you need for your quest. In Bomberman though, you have to do those same things...without accidentally killing yourself. It feels a bit more earned and exciting that way. Blasting the land and fracking resources fills me with glee, and that glee is all the better when those power ups and rewards are permanent. This is why I call this gameplay type “Looting”. The tools you acquire have lasting impact on your journey and a lot of the fun is indulging in the grind.

Now there are tons of other gameplay types that I don’t expect to return in any way because they are very unconventional for Bomberman gameplay and are essentially spin offs. I say essentially and not definitely in this case because I don’t know how to split a franchise as unfocused as this one into mainline and spin off categories. Basically, when the gameplay strongly diverges from the norm is when I don’t expect any return. So all those Bomberman Racing games that came out are irrelevant, as well as the Bomberman Land party games. But there is one spin off that I feel doesn’t stray from the norm too much and I still have some hope it can return in a future game. In the past we’ve had Genocide and Homicide, but neither of these crimes comes close to one of my favorite Gameplay Styles: “Regicide”.

Bomberman Wars is a goddamned gem of a strategy game that doesn’t deserve to be stuck on the Japanese PSX catalog. Many games back in the day didn’t get localized because they were too hard or didn’t have a tone that appealed to target demographics enough. This one I’m pretty sure was held back because they thought Americans simply weren’t smart enough. My brain was forced to expand when I played this game. If you don’t think 4 steps ahead at least, you can lose it all in a mere instant. Understanding each unit on the map and their function is key to victory and when you execute your assassination plan of the opposing team’s king, it's euphoric. The thing is, it’s still Bomberman gameplay. Only now it’s turn based. Bomberman games being on a grid makes it convert into a strategy game seamlessly. It’s not a strategy game with a Bomberman coat of paint; It’s a Bomberman game that is slowed down so you can plan for all the chaos that a 5 v 5 Bomberman match might entail. It might never come to the forefront of the franchise, but I believe that if the balance of Bomberman Wars is ironed out, we will have created Chess 2. I regret to inform you that these last two paragraphs are irrelevant to the main point of this write up and my motive was to gush about Bomberman Wars.

So with all this knowledge of Bomberman gameplay, I came into the newly released Super Bomberman R 2 fully expecting a Crime Spree game. There was no reason for it to not be that. But to my surprise...Konami cooked up something entirely different. To be fair the original Super Bomberman series shook things up a bit too between games. Sure, Super Bomberman 2 is pretty much the same as the first, but 3 shook things up by being a Property Damage game, 4 added mechanics that added value to the genocide gameplay style, and Super Bomberman 5 set itself apart by being a completely impenetrable cluster f*ck. So there is precedent set in the series they are attempting to reboot, but not to this extent. When you boot up Super Bomberman R 2, you are not greeted with a mission to complete. You are not tasked with an object to destroy. You aren’t even given a hit list on who to kill. Because Super Bomberman R2 is a Looting game.

Now, it’s not a Looter the same way the previous 3 games are. You don’t get any unique abilities or bombs along the way which is a huge bummer. But by following the description I gave earlier, this clearly fits. The whole game is centered around collecting. You bomb softblocks and enemies to gain experience points which grant you basic power ups that last for the entire world. It’s not much, but it is an RPG mechanic and I’ll take all I can get. Exploration is at the forefront of story mode, as your objective is to comb the area and search for alien creatures called Ellons. Ellons look similar to Chao and have the same surface level appeal. They even have a discount Chao Garden on each planet you visit. But mechanically they work much more like Maiamais from The Legend of Zelda: Link Between Worlds. Each planet is gerrymandered into districts that have a certain amount of Ellons. Ellons are hidden all over the place and their locations can be sussed out by listening to their squeaks in the distance. When a district has all of it’s Ellons collected, it will be indicated on the map, and each Planet has 100 total. These are functionally Maiamais and again I must praise Bomberman for shameless cribbing off Zelda. This aspect of the gameplay loop shoots this game up to being one of my favorite Bomberman Campaigns.

Find a bunch of collectibles in an open world with no direction? I sleep. Find a moderate amount of collectibles in a series of divided areas? You have my undivided attention. Completing each section one by one hits that anxious spot in my brain real nice because once I’ve completed a section, I don’t have to worry about it again. More games need to do this and I’m glad Bomberman caught on. It also helps that searching for them in soft blocks isn’t the only way to obtain Ellons. There are also small puzzles and mini challenges you find throughout the level that award you with multiple Ellons at a time. Bomberman Story DS had puzzles like this too, but I’m pretty sure they were all awful. I can’t be sure, I prefer to not remember that game. The puzzles add a lot to the gameplay loop so it never feels stale. It would get tiring if the entire game was blasting soft blocks to find Chao and level up stats. What’s interesting about this stat element is that it’s not simply the standard fire, speed, and bomb amounts that increase. After a while, your gimmick maximum increases too, which is a stat that doesn’t appear to be relevant to the story mode at all.

As it turns out, this Story Mode is only half of a Looting game. The other half is comprised of a new gameplay type. One of the main selling points of Super Bomberman R2 was a new multiplayer mode that involved some sort of tower defense. The way it works is that there are two teams, one defending their treasures and another attempting to steal them. When time runs out and the defending team still has treasures left, they win. If the invading team successfully captures all the treasures before the time runs out, they win. This game mode in implemented into the Single Player campaign using AI opponents with some twist. Now, based on my feelings on Homicide style Bomberman games, this seems like something I’d hate. It’s a chaotic multiplayer mode being slapped onto the Single Player. But there are a few things about this implementation that make it not only work, but be a really fun experience.

My main issues with the Homicide Bomberman games was how there was no asymmetry and the AI were a little too slick at times. This is not a problem here. For one, the AI opponents are kinda dumb compared to previous titles, which I’m not sure was the intention, but I appreciate it at points. There is also no issue with symmetry, as this game mode is inherently asymmetrical. When you are on defense, you have the entire map working in your favor as you can adjust the fortress design to funnel enemies into traps(gimmicks) that push them away from the objective or kill them. You can also achieve special abilities such as a sword that kills enemies directly or a shield that takes a certain amount of hits. When you are on the invading side, you don’t have a lot going for you aside from numbers. Sure you’re likelier to die, but there are far more invaders than defenders. Because you don’t need to be stronger than the opposing side to win, you only need to be sneaky and clever with how you move around the fortress. While Looting also wouldn’t be a bad term for this gameplay type, due to both defense and offense being required, I think “Home Invasion” fits better.

For Home Invasion’s first outing it doesn’t do too shabby. The gimmicks and gimmick limits you obtain and increase throughout story mode allow you to bolster your defenses whenever enemies attempt to raid you. It’s hilarious to build your own fortress and watch the opposing forces fail to navigate your house of horrors. A lot of the time I felt like I was just blocking enemy paths with bombs though, so maybe the AI could have stood to be a little smarter. On the invading side of things where you have to take the enemy’s treasure, many elements don’t transfer over perfectly. You are on a team of 8, but they aren’t really your team. There is a single treasure to steal when you play in story mode and if you aren’t the one who steals it, you lose. White Bomberman has to be the main character. I think the idea was to assure the player character didn’t stand still and wait for the AI to maybe take care of the problem. Instead of an 8 v 3 it ends up being a 1 v 10, which isn’t even a challenge anyway. Most matches last 30 seconds if you know where the treasure actually is. The raiding side of things feels half baked and it’s really disappointing how you have to compete with your siblings instead of work with them.

One big change Super Bomberman R made was reestablish lore and make all the Bombermen be siblings with distinct personalities and I’m still not sure I’m a fan of this decision. While it’s great they are distinct, they can also get very annoying. There’s not a ton of story in this game, so they are all fighting for screen time due to 8 characters being an absurdly high number for a main cast. I think the story of this game integrates the individual characters better into the plot, but a lot of the time they do often come off as White Bomberman’s wacky side kicks. On the first invasion I did, I was kinda hyped to see all the Bomberman siblings together about to wreak havoc. They actually felt like a team. For a split second. Then you realize they are only getting in your way. I couldn’t help but imagine how cool it would be if these characters had their own little gameplay segments or maybe individual campaigns. Maybe then they could be cured of the annoying sidekick syndrome they’ve been bedridden with for 2 games. I desperately want to be endeared to these characters, but this game isn’t built for that. For as ambitious as it is, it’s only ambitious compared to the past few story modes.

I really need Konami to make the next Bomberman Story Mode with a budget. Aside from some qualms I have with the raiding side of Home Invasion, all issues with the game stem from a suffocation of new assets. You explore 3 planets in this game, which mean only 3 motifs. That’s on the lower end of Bomberman Games. 5 motifs is the expected minimum. While I never tired of the gameplay, I did tire of the visuals after a while. 3 Planets means only 3 over world themes, and while they do good to provide multiple mixes of those themes, that means there’s only 3 unique melodies for the majority of the campaign. It’s not even half as many as its predecessor. Sadly, I’ll take the soundtrack of the first game over this one any day. Asset diversity is the one thing I feel R1 completely trumps its sequel in.

3 planets also means a limited number of bosses. The Boss fights in this game have the quality and bombast I desire from this series. Well the third one is kinda bad, the rest are pretty great. There are clear patterns the boss goes through and the better you are at reading the boss and knowing what their openings and weak points are, the faster you can finish the fight. But because the story wants to do a cool finale with a multi-phase final boss fight, they decide to throw in a boss rush instead of a what they clearly wanted to do. It’s a bit deflating to have to slog through all these past bosses to get to the new content which there isn’t much of. And it’s shame because I was actually a bit invested in this villain’s motive and the lore they built here.

This Home Invasion Looter hybrid feels like a promising proof of concept for the future of the franchise, but I’m not confident it will be followed through. I don’t think this game is gonna sell as well as Konami wants it to, so it might be a while for an R3 to happen. But even after enjoying what they created, I would still prefer they make a pure Looting or Loitering type story mode next. I’m mainly just happy this team is trying new things. While Home Invasion has potential, it’s not the end of the world if it isn’t followed up on. But this game has really convinced me of something that I’ve always known deep down.

I can’t hide it anymore. I just want Bomberman to become the new Zelda. I’m not kidding. For a decade I have hungered for a new traditional Zelda game and Nintendo seems to have no plans for making them. I’m playing through The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom savoring every morsel of traditional Zelda shavings it leaves behind, but it’s not enough. If you’re ever curious why I’m obsessed with this franchise, it’s because I’m a Zelda fan who is projecting. There has been a lonely rift in gaming for years now and it’s begging to be mended. Bomberman can fill that spot, I promise. Look at the level design in Bomberman 64: The Second Attack. Some of those are straight up Zelda dungeons! Tournament is the second best Bomberman game because it thinks it’s a Zelda game. The potential has always been there and I binged 40 Bomberman games in 2021 to see if there was anything else in the franchise that pushed the concepts those games introduced further. But I found nothing but a pile of mezzanine single player modes, a few gems, and Saturn Bomberman, the Best game I will never play again because Saturn Emulation is a nightmare.

Because Bomberman is such an unfocused franchise and because its multiplayer has subsumed its identity, I know it’s just not gonna happen. But the heart wants what the heart wants. My heart wants a different type of bomb in each dungeon that you use to solve complex puzzles. My heart wants consistent lore and culture between games. My heart wants a sick Rival Boss Fight between Max and Bomberman. My heart wants to use Louies and Tirras as mounts as you roam the overworld. My heart wants to place a bomb on a suspicious wall and find a secret, because that’s what both franchises are really about at the end of the day. Maybe my brain is still fried from the Great Bomber Binge of 2021, but I really do think this makes sense. This franchise has been around for over 40 years, yet feels like it never truly exploded. But it’s not too late Bomberman. The mantle is yours to take. Seek the throne, for it is now empty and calling out to you.

Anyway, here’s a diagram of all the categories I’ve divided the games I’m familiar with into. You’re Welcome.